I had an encounter with Source recently that literally brought me to my knees. I arrived home late after a long day of work with much on my mind. I was eager to get home to where I could sit down and sort through my thoughts with my husband, Daniel. Apparently, however the Universe had other plans for me that evening because when I got home Daniel’s car was gone. Inside I found a note from him saying he wouldn’t be home until late that evening.
My first reaction was to throw a mini temper-tantrum inside my own mind about how “he’s never around when I need him,” but I questioned that negative thought and quickly brought myself back to reality where it occurred to me that perhaps Source wanted to speak to me alone, with no outside interference for the evening.
So I got myself settled in at home and then headed to the water-garden out back while there was still enough daylight to see the late summer sky and listen to the birds and katydids. I slowly began to stretch and unwind my body through a series of standing yoga poses, all the time asking for clarity on the mental angst I was in the midst of.
Standing with my arms above my head in an uplifted version of Tadasana (standing mountain pose) I suddenly started receiving vivid images of myself. Snapshots taken of myself over previous and most recent days cascaded into my awareness to powerfully illustrate exactly how I’d been causing my internal angst.
I saw vivid examples of how I had been creating misery for myself by demanding myself to be different. I realized that I had been falling for what I’ve since come to call “the universal-limiting-core-belief-from-which-all-humans-suffer”; this one belief, it seems to me, is the one that we are all addicted to in one way or another.
To believe on any level that “I (it, they, he, she, we, life) should be different” is to fly in the face of reality, to set up war against the way things are, and therefore can only bring grief, disappointment, and inner rage in its wake.
Wow! Who do I become when I believe that I should not be the way I am? Who am I to demand that I should indeed be different?
I’ve come to see this universal, wide-spread and highly contagious belief as a spiritual virus! One that we suffer often from – as I was that day- and that can only bring us certain suffering. How wonderful to have permission to question it …
“I should be different?” … Is it true
I’ve got more to tell you about that evening in the garden … it’s to follow soon.