I’ve noticed a tendency to reach out for someone to “help me” feel better from feelings that I, in fact, generated against myself! For instance, I have watched myself many times treat myself unkindly … say mean things to myself that I believe and then painfully react out of those feelings – spiraling down from there. Even if others offered to commiserate or console, they can’t. What instead often happens is the comforter ends up inadvertently reinforcing the painful story rather than helping to dispel it.
The truth is that I’m the only one, really, who can make myself feel any better because I’m the one who caused my suffering in the first place! Remembering this helps prompt me towards sanity … rather than deeper into victimhood.