What’s Our Responsibility And What’s Not?

 photo credit: woodleywonderworks In getting off the Victim Triangle we must shift our priorities by changing our perception about who we are and are not responsible for. Below is a list of shifts that occur in our primary relationships as we recover from rescuing: Taking responsibility for ourselves becomes our number one priority regardless of how selfish we used to think taking care of ourselves

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Questioning Our Limiting Notions About Others

photo credit: ePi.Longo As rescuers. we tend to believe that our dependent loved one(s) really can’t take care of themselves and … well, they often agree with us. They don’t happen to think that they can take care of themselves either! Such a mutually shared belief keeps us, as rescuers hooked into rescuer mode. (After all, “what will happen to them if we don’t take

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Own your blunders & forgive …..

Recently my daughter observed the following interaction between her children, my 3 1/2 year old granddaughter, Isa and her big brother, Nicolas (age 6)…. Isa stormed into the house from outside where they had been playing together and said to him; “Nicwas, you owe me ah apowolgee (her own version of apology)!” Immediately Nicolas replied in a subdued voice, “I am sorry, Isa.” There was

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When you find yourself on the Victim Triangle™

by stevenjude When you find yourself feeling polarized and highly reactive towards another person or situation, you can rest assured that you’re on the Victim Triangle™. What do you do about it? 1. To get off the Victim Triangle™ first of all be willing to take 100% responsibility for yourself. This means stop blaming! 2. Nobody wins as long as the interaction between you and

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The Family Scapegoat

by aka Quique Dysfunctional families are those who are stuck in victim mentality. Every dysfunctional family needs a scapegoat. What is victim mentality? It’s a state of mind that is perpetually looking for something “out there” to blame for the situations and encounters that are happening in life. Victim mentality is the result of a dysfunctional family system. When the significant caregivers in the family

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