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Learning to Love Ourselves

I often talk to clients about the importance of “loving ourselves.” They often nod their heads in agreement -after all, it sounds good – but, if the truth be told, most of us have no idea of how to go about doing this thing called “loving ourselves,” and for many of us the whole idea sounds a bit egotistical and egocentric besides. So what does

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Victim or Victor?

It’s quite natural for us to assume that the opposite of victim is victor. In reality, however, the role of victor is just another stop on the victim triangle on its way to victim. The “victor” may stand with a conquering foot planted firmly on their victim, loudly proclaiming victory; however they are still at war;they must be ever-vigilant against defeat. Like their victim, they

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Am I responsible for my feelings and thoughts, or are they?

 photo credit: Lori Greig There are two distinct ways of perceiving our thoughts and feelings. We either believe that the world outside of us, particularly other people, determines our feelings OR we believe that it is our thoughts that determines our feelings. The perception we choose makes a huge difference in the quality of life we get to experience! When we believe others make us

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What do you mean, they can’t make me feel bad?!

photo credit: Prairiekittin What does it mean to say we are in charge of our own feelings? Can’t others make us feel bad? I mean who wouldn’t feel hurt if someone walks up and punches them in the nose! Of course, the other person “made” them hurt! It’s obvious, right! Yes, there are obvious physical repercussions if someone pops you in the face and bloodies

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The Victim Addiction

photo credit: Lomo-Cam Victim consciousness is the number one addiction that underlies all addictions … which may at least partially explain why it is so hard for some of us to take space from those who abuse us. We are commonly addicted to being on the victim triangle with one another; we are addicted to rescuing (trying to control their outcomes), and persecuting others (when

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