Doing the work of mental and emotional clearing can be like bringing sunlight into a dark room in our psyches where the thick damask curtains of denial have been tightly drawn for decades.
The thick layer of dust and grime, of lies and self-deceit, can not be seen as long as the curtains remain closed. The light of consciousness illuminates these dark nooks and crannies of our minds. We may find, when this happens, that there is little (if any) self acceptance of the internal state we find when the light of consciousness is brought to shine on our inner darkness.
It seems a simple enough concept to see and accept without judgment what we see in ourselves. But self acceptance, when it comes down to it, is something we may find very difficult indeed to offer ourselves.
Not only is there a habit of immediately judging the internal grime exposed in the new light of fresh awakening, but we may actually experience a visceral repulsion to what we see inside ourselves. There may even be a tendency to slip quickly back into unconscious identification with the pain and limiting beliefs being exposed to the light.
During moments like this it’s important to remember that it’s the negative judgment we feel towards ourselves that drives us, once again, to close the heavy curtain of denial on the inner turmoil and chaos we discover. This only returns us to our former state of reactive unconsciousness. Every time.
Instead of self denigration and judgment, practice self acceptance. Forgive yourself for the unconsciousness that gets exposed in the light of dawning consciousness. Celebrate increasing awareness. It is the light of consciousness that allows us to see more clearly so we can get about the business of mental and emotional “clean up” ….