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Recovery From Rescuing

photo credit: alisonkanegae Family Rescuers don’t like it when other family members are angry with them. When we relate to others from a primarily rescuer role, we hate for others to think we are mean or unfair because our sense of self worth and self importance comes from having others look to and depend on us. In other words, we need to be needed so

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“But They Need Me!”

photo credit: Stephen Glauser It can be difficult once we have identified ourselves as Rescuers to stop taking responsibility for someone we’re in the habit of rescuing. Exactly how hard it is to refrain from care-taking them depends on how much they have come to rely on, even expect us to rescue them. They may really believe it is our job to take care of

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Are You Promoting Autonomy or Dependence?

photo credit: photographerpandora How do we find the balance between codependent “rescuing” and “cold detachment”? This is a question we must ask anytime we step into a service oriented relationship with another. It is the question we must ask at every level – from our personal relations right up to the level of national and international affairs. Whenever we face a decision about “helping” others

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About “Sharing the Wealth”

by aka_lusi The very compassionate and caring mindset of “sharing the wealth with those less fortunate” is something I understand and with which I greatly empathize. I believe strongly in being in service and so those words sound good to me. Of course one should share! I’ve done a lot of thinking about this idea, especially now, since it’s one that’s getting a lot of

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Living in Victim Mentality

When you live in victimhood it means that you are on the victim triangle all the time – simply moving from one role to another …. You’re either persecuting – blaming, attacking and feeling abused. This means you spend most of your time feeling mistreated. rescuing – fixing, controlling and self sacrificing. This leaves you feeling unappreciated. Or you’re in victim – impotent, incapable, helpless

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