Here's a rewrite of an original post I thought worthy of re-posting since it aptly demonstrates …
Questioning An Unhappy Thought
second posting, July 22, 2009 – original posting, May 8, 2009
Here's a sample of my use of The Work ( www.thework.com ) in dealing with the troubling thought:
Belief: “I am a failure because I don't market my business well.”
“I am a failure at marketing my business, is it true?”
“Yes, I think it’s true.”
I wrote down all of my evidence to support that thought.
I don’t do the things I know will promote my business, like attend networking functions, writing promotions or offering “special deals,” etc.
I prefer to wait until clients find me, rather than solicit them through advertising or asking for referrals.
I don’t spend enough time doing things that will promote my work.
I forget to mention my business when opportunities to promote arise.
Then I asked myself the following questions and answered them:
“Do I absolutely know that I am a failure who does not market my business successfully?”
“I’m not quite as convinced as before I started investigating my thoughts.”
“When I believe the thought, “I am a failure at marketing…” how do I think, feel, and react to the world?”
“I think of myself as a failure and feel inadequate, frustrated & disappointed in myself.
I think thoughts like, “I might as well give up because I am too lazy to do what is needed to build a thriving business. (feel guilt) I must be unmotivated to succeed at business.” And then I feel overwhelmed, tired, and stagnant.”
I react by avoiding thinking about marketing because it’s too depressing to feel the way I do about me when I think the thoughts I associate with it. I treat myself poorly because I feel I am not doing my best. I see myself as a failure and expect not to do well. I work longer hours and give myself no breaks doing all kinds of “other” stuff to justify why I don’t “promote” my work.
What would be different without the thought, “I am a failure …”
I would relax and be more at ease about marketing – whether I was doing it or not! Marketing might actually begin to happen naturally when I talk to people because I would be feeling the passion for what I do rather than the guilt of “not doing it right. I would treat myself better, trusting that the way I share my business is exactly the right way for me!” I would feel more trust in the reality of how my business is, rather than be caught up in some idea of the way it “should” be.”
What’s the opposite of “I am a failure at marketing my business?”
“I am a success at marketing my business, because”:
my client load is sufficient so I must be doing something right!
I am able to encourage in others a desire to refer their friends & family to me.
I practice what I teach and so others are attracted to my message.
I know how to share my experiences openly so that others can relate to me which encourages them to come back.
I use the most effective marketing tools based on the law of attraction – so that rather than “self” promote – I am able to “Source” promote!
I study & use my life & my body as an experiment for the work every day and there’s no better way to market than THAT!
Another turn around:
“I am successful because I don’t market my business.”
I successfully don’t market my business, because I don't WANT to market my business! Wow, that thought struck a chord right away! Could I be purposely avoiding more work? Could it be that I don’t want to work THAT hard? “Oh yes, I can see that possibility!”
I began to work with why that idea might be a possibility:
Because “marketing” in the typical way does not appeal to me. If feels foreign and false.
Perhaps it simply isn't the right time to market!
Perhaps I follow an inner prompting that holds me back from traditional marketing because it's not a “right fit” for my relationship with Reality.
Perhaps there are other things more important, like staying in alignment with Reality/Source.
Perhaps I am being nudged towards a more “balanced” life and in following those inner nudges I spend less energy trying to “produce” more business and more time relaxing into letting Source move my life!
Might any of these stories be just as true as the one that says, “I am a failure …?”
After investigating this belief, I found myself better able to accept the pace at which my business was unfolding. I began to find peace with it and as a result, a marketing plan that has felt appropriate, a “right fit” for my business has unfolded.
The slower unfolding of my business has allowed me to come into an integrity with the way my business is promoted so that the way I “market” is congruent with what I share with others. By recognizing thoughts that promote trust in the way things are, rather than believing thoughts that bring resistance, I have felt more at ease and in alignment with Reality/Source.