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Authenticity Resides in the Present.

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Someone recently spoke to me about their preference for people who are “authentic” ….
It prompted me to ponder on the word, and wonder … “What determines authenticity, anyway?”….

Here’s what I think …

I think we’re authentic to the degree that we’re able to give our full attention to whatever it is we’re doing right now – in this very moment.

… And I think that our ability to give full attention to the moment is determined by the amount of story about ourselves and the world that is currently running in our minds ….

The more story there is (such as, “I’m not good enough but I can never let them know…”, or “They’re not good enough, but I’ll be nice …”.), the more caught up in attempting to be some version of a “me” we are – for survival or approval, either one.

The less present we are the more likely we are to be reacting out of an inner notion of what we believe an acceptable self must be. We’re no longer available for life in this moment.

How much time we spend “living a story” versus being simply present and engaged in the moment – responding to life as it presents itself – determines the degree to which we are viewed as genuine.

Authenticity absolutely resides in the NOW.

Having said that … I recognize, of course, that we all have our moments … of story … and of authenticity…. Times when we are responding to life in the moment and times when we’re lost in a totally self-fabricated mental maze.

So I’m not sure I can judge anybody else’s authenticity … when my own is so easily lost every time I sacrifice the moment for one of my made up stories.

Authenticity is not a state of arrival … it’s a coming and going…. of presence….

Blessings, Lynne

Should or Shouldn’t … The Voice of Ego

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Ego has it’s own particular devices for stealing us away from the present moment and carrying us off into places that don’t actually exist. One such place is the imaginary land of “Shouldville”.

Shouldville is the resistant state of consciousness we find ourselves in when we find ourselves thinking in terms of “should” or “shouldn’t”. Whenever we’re thinking life shouldn’t be the way it is, we’re in conflict with reality. When we say things like, “He shouldn’t do that …” or She shouldn’t have said that” or “I should be some other way”, we’re struggling against the way life is. It’s like shaking a fist at God, with, “This is NOT the way it should be …” as if we know exactly how it should be. In other words, we’re arguing with Reality – and there’s no winning such an argument!

Life is the way it is and no amount of resistance to it will change that! (Have you noticed?:)) It doesn’t matter whether we like it or agree with it or not – it just IS!

Resisting reality only creates unhappiness. It doesn’t matter how right we may think we are … or how many people may agree with us that it should be different, it will go right on being the way it is. The only thing that this approach to life brings is misery. We cannot find peace as long as we are living in Shouldville.

Acceptance of life on life’s terms is what does work. Aligning with reality brings peace. This doesn’t mean we “give up” or “settle for” something uncomfortable in our lives. We can certainly decide we want to do it differently next time … but it does mean that we can surrender to what is now and come to terms with the way things are RIGHT NOW.

This attitude not only brings us back into the present moment where we can respond better … it also supports an important question … “since it is the way it is … and since life is happening FOR us … then how is it that this is the way it’s supposed to be?” This question helps us to focus on the gifts in any given situation rather than go on bellyaching about how unfair life is.

As Byron Katie says, “How do we know it should be the way it is? Because it is.”

Blessings, Lynne

Open Your Eyes To Peace

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My daughter and I took my grandchildren, Nicolas and Isabella, to Gatlinburg this past weekend. It was wonderful. What a great time we had … at least until we decided to take the chair lift up to the top of Alpine Mountain for the mountain slide back down. The chair lift is a series of two seater swings pulled up the mountain side on a big steel cable. My daughter and I each took a seat with a child apiece. Nicolas, my six year old grandson, had a freak out on the swing. He was terrified. He would shut his eyes tight and wail in terror. I would say, “Nicolas, sweetheart, open your eyes and look around … it’s the story you’re telling yourself that makes you afraid – the scary thing is in your mind. Look around you … there’s nothing scary happening here…..” etc.
And then, for a few minutes he would … He would open his eyes and get interested in the wonderful world of sights around him – he’d get to watching the kids going down on the slide or the creek running below … and then the swing would hit a bump and he would close his eyes tight again and go back into that terrifying inner space where he would run all sorts of scary story in his head.

This is what we all tend to do. We close our eyes to the reality of the present moment and listen instead to the terrifying story we’re running in our mind;

“Omigod, I don’t have enough money to survive … what if he leaves me … I’m not going to be able to make it … they’re trying to hurt me … any minute I’m going to fail – I’m doomed!”
On and on the stories run.

When you find yourself having a freak out, just “open” your eyes … come back to into the present moment and see the peace and abundance available here now. Terror is created by a mind invested in denying reality. Reality is always peaceful and kind.

Blessings, Lynne

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