This story we’re living out – this identity we mistakenly call “me” – doesn’t determine the true nature of who we are, nor determine “what we’re really like” …. This self consists of an accumulation of beliefs about ourselves – not who we really are “beneath the facade “ … these are just stories that tell us what we believe.
When we remember that how we act is always decided by what we believe, we can stop focusing on behavior as being the chief determiner of our value (or of determining the worth of another). We understand that everyone acts the way they do for one reason and one reason only … because they believe what they believe … just like us! Through looking closely at the belief to decide whether or not it’s true, we may find that our judgment about another’s behavior, and even our own questionable behavior, may fall away. Through self-inquiry, we let go of negative judgment, creating more inner space and making self-forgiveness possible.
When we’re able to see others through eyes that understand that all behavior comes from what is being believed … it makes all the difference …. That understanding gives us compassion … because how in the world can we (or anyone else for that matter) possibly do any thing BUT what we do as long as we go on believing what we believe? It’s impossible!
It’s not the behavior that’s important. It’s the belief behind the behavior that, once investigated, can change everything. This, in turn, helps us be more loving and patient with others. We know that what we see in them is our story anyway. We may find we even feel gratitude towards them for bringing us such powerful gifts of insight.