Here’s a few sobering, and liberating, realizations I’ve had about the nature of judgment and advice which you might find worth reflecting on: What we accuse others of is what we have judged and denied in ourselves; the advice we give others is more often meant for us!
The things we want others to do are very often the very things we need to be doing for ourselves!
Here are some examples:
‘I want her to be nicer to me’ – turned inward becomes, ‘I need to be nicer to me.’
‘I want him to take better care of himself,’ becomes, ‘I need to take better care of myself.”
“Her addiction is killing her,” becomes, ‘My addiction (to HER, to painful beliefs, to rescuing, etc) is killing me!’
Notice your own judgments and ‘shoulds’ towards others. Look for where those same ‘shoulds’ apply in your relationship with yourself.
Forgive yourself for what you have judged in them by reframing the limiting belief that feeds it.