In my last post, which was part two in this series of describing my faith journey, I briefly described how my adolescent rebellion, which included experimentation with drugs, and a highly adventurous lifestyle, were all part of finding my way back to God. I mentioned that my father was the one who pointed me to the twelve steps and recovery through his own modeling.
Once I was in recovery from addiction, my interest (means to pursue it) turned to travel and the desire to explore other cultures and extract from such travels, vivid glimpses into the way they understand life and Source. I did indeed learn much from my travels to India and Tibet, Peru and other European cultures too, and through them I found great tools, and resources, that I continue to use every day in my own daily connection with Source. I have found ways to integrate ancient tools gathered in my studies and travels with my daily practice of alignment and connection with Source, as well as in my intensely personal relationship with Christ.
Some of my Christian friends over the years have voiced concern that such study and travels were signs that I'd lost my way. I see it quite the opposite. I feel that every step of my journey has been purposeful towards bringing me where I am today on my faith walk. My journey has led me, not away from, but more deeply into, an intensely personal relationship with Christ.
Over thirty years ago, during a time of practicing a form of sitting meditation regularly, I noticed the accompanying, quiet, inner presence of a teacher. I would become aware of his visible presence in my mind, dressed in blue robes with long hair, very much like traditional pictures depict Jesus, although for some reason, the thought that it was Jesus did not occur to me then. I asked inwardly once, on becoming aware of this teachers peace-radiating presence, what I should call him, and I heard, in response, “Simply call me Master.”
Over the years, I heard that familiar voice of the Master many times; finally some years back, I again asked that inner Presence, “who are you?” and received the immediate response that the one I'd been calling Master, was indeed Jesus, the Christ. I wept with the joy of discovery, and surrendered to Him in a way I'd never before considered possible that morning on the floor in the middle of my yoga practice.
I think now about having read some years ago where Thich Nhat Than told an American seeker, who was asking if he should pursue Buddhism, that he should in fact go back to his own spiritual roots to find the practice best suited for him: sort of the”bloom where you are planted” idea. And I realized that was in effect what I'd done. I had returned to my roots, even though until some ten years ago, I'd never even studied my own culture's spiritual book, the Bible! I made up my mind to remedy that. Shortly thereafter, Daniel, my husband walked into my life.
I'll tell you about more about that part of my faith walk next time.