I had an image come to mind that I think aptly describes what victim consciousness sometimes looks like.
My image is this:
An adult-sized baby is throwing a toddler style temper tantrum; they wear a diaper and there’s a crown on their head; they are hollering, “I don’t like that! I don’t want it! You don’t treat me right. No fair! I’m mad & miserable because things aren’t going my way. I can’t be happy unless it’s done my way! It’s all your fault! ” As they flail their arms and legs about in total defiant exasperation, their fists and faces balled up in disapproval and resistance, no amount of appeasing, pampering or distracting them works. Nothing calms them for more than a few minutes and there’s no way to reason with them.
This is what I think we look like sometimes when we tenaciously hang onto our grievances against others and against life. We whine about how life isn’t turning out like we want it to, or that we think someone treats us unfairly, or just differently than we think they should and we blame them for our misery.
We must look like spoiled baby tyrants railing and ranting at everything and everyone around us – when, in fact, we probably don’t even really know what we want! And it’s for sure that we don’t know what is best for us because if we did we would see that we have that already! Instead of whining and complaining, we would be focused on seeing how the people and circumstances in our lives are exactly as they are for our highest and greatest good.
Instead of living from our center, a center based on trusting that we are always taken care of, we, in victim consciousness are busy looking for a “problem,” we’re bound and determined to find the thing that is not working “right” so that we can protest against it.
Then, when we find the first sign of something not going exactly our way, we use it to justify our “foul mood.” In other words, we go into temper-tantrum mode, and feeling justified and self-righteous, we proclaim from the rooftops about how mistreated we’ve been and demand that things be what we know they should be – RIGHT NOW!
And just like a toddler in full blown tantrum, we hurl blame and attack on what’s outside us and fail to recognize that we are the ones who are hurting ourselves.
Moving out of victim consciousness means assuming total responsibility for our moods, thoughts, feelings and for our own misery! We stop blaming the world for our unhappiness. Instead we get up out of the middle of the floor, we take-off our crowns of self-imposed superiority, and we focus on finding the peace that only comes from accepting life on its own terms.
Welcome to the responsible, abundant, and increasingly joyful life of living like a “grown-up.”
May you find such willingness in yourself.