Yes … It is our strong negative reactions towards others that gives us a “visceral view” of our feelings towards ourselves.
Our reactions show us where forgiveness is needed. Forgiveness of the other… yes, but that will come automatically as we focus our attention on forgiving ourselves.
Forgiving ourselves for what?
Perhaps we have not forgiven ourselves for choices made back when we were inexperienced and innocent … and oh so misled…. “How could I have done what I did?”, we ask ourselves … (but then, how else were we going to have the experiences it took to land us where we are now?)
We start the forgiveness process by bringing understanding to the situation … Why did I do what I did? Because I believed something terribly painful about myself and the events that transpired were the outer manifestation of my own inner hell. Why did I put up with such abuse? Because the relationship mirrored to me in detail my relationship with myself. My feelings and beliefs about myself were being shown to me so that I could decide whether I wanted to go on believing the painful thoughts that were running things from behind the scenes.
Remember, there's no more powerful way to transform than through encountering a concrete, in-the-flesh version of our own beliefs – about ourselves. This is what happens in our relationships with one another. We hook up with someone who we can demonstrate out loud how it is we feel about ourselves.
We forgive others because it is the doorway into self-forgiveness. We forgive them so we can forgive ourselves. It’s the kind thing to do for ourselves.