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Self Forgiveness

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Yes … It is our strong negative reactions towards others that gives us a “visceral view” of our feelings towards ourselves.

Our reactions show us where forgiveness is needed. Forgiveness of the other… yes, but that will come automatically as we focus our attention on forgiving ourselves.

Forgiving ourselves for what?
Perhaps we have not forgiven ourselves for choices made back when we were inexperienced and innocent … and oh so misled…. “How could I have done what I did?”, we ask ourselves … (but then, how else were we going to have the experiences it took to land us where we are now?)

We start the forgiveness process by bringing understanding to the situation … Why did I do what I did? Because I believed something terribly painful about myself and the events that transpired were the outer manifestation of my own inner hell. Why did I put up with such abuse? Because the relationship mirrored to me in detail my relationship with myself. My feelings and beliefs about myself were being shown to me so that I could decide whether I wanted to go on believing the painful thoughts that were running things from behind the scenes.

Remember, there’s no more powerful way to transform than through encountering a concrete, in-the-flesh version of our own beliefs – about ourselves. This is what happens in our relationships with one another. We hook up with someone who we can demonstrate out loud how it is we feel about ourselves.

We forgive others because it is the doorway into self-forgiveness. We forgive them so we can forgive ourselves. It’s the kind thing to do for ourselves.

Blessings, Lynne

More on Surrendering Judgment

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When we are coming from a surrendered state, we naturally look for the gifts being offered through the circumstances we experience. We look for reasons why things ARE the way they are, rather than for reasons why they should not be this way or that. We attune with gratitude to whatever is happening, because we understand that the Universe is benevolent and that enables us to trust that we are being led into and through something for our own benefit.

All unpleasantness we experience takes place in our own minds. Our judgments, irritations and expectations of how things should be is what creates our misery, not the external situation.

When we rail against what is … spend the day fuming and fussing over something that we have no control over … we are being so unkind to ourselves. Our day is ruined alright . .. but not by the situation – but by ourselves. It is our own internal ranting that ruins it for us.

There is no victim remember. Whenever I am blaming someone out there … I am sentencing myself to the prison of my own punishing thoughts. I, too, must eat the poison my mind is dishing out to others.

The resistance that comes up in our lives, in the form of resentment or demands that things be some how different, etc. are not bad or wrong. They come to show us where we are not yet free. They have come to help us shine the light of understanding on those dark unloved places within our own mind … These are that in us that is asking to be forgiven and accepted.

Or that’s the way it looks to me anyway.

Blessings, Lynne

Understanding Darkness

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The esoteric teaching is that we come to this planet to explore the very conditions of darkness; the painful circumstances, even rape and murder, in which we may find ourselves. It’s part of the soul education or “course” we came to take.

We are here as spirit-in-a-body to learn more about how to manipulate the density of a physical, concrete world. The challenges we face were designed exactly for us … designed to further our reconnection with Source.

Imagine, a soul sitting with its Creator Source before incarnation … Imagine that what is being discussed is what that soul needs in its next incarnation to further its evolution. Perhaps the soul says, “I need to learn forgiveness and compassion …” The collaboration continues until the “right” family setting and conditions are agreed upon that will provide the necessary lessons for that soul’s refinement.

For instance, in order to learn forgiveness, there must be something to forgive, right? This means that there will need to be a “volunteer” to play betrayer or perpetrator for that soul. There is an esoteric thought that says our “enemies” are the ones who love us enough to play the most dubious role in our life drama (as Judas did for Christ). This is their way of supporting us towards completing the story we’ve come to play out.

Another idea is to think of the “volunteer” soul as someone who, for their own furthering, needs to experience playing the dark role. Their willingness to take on the “bad guy” role provides the essential tension between opposites that will bring the challenges and life lessons necessary for both souls.

Dealing With Ego Generated Pain

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It is only our ego that devises low frequency stories. Ego comes from our early wounding and is therefore of low frequency. Source is the highest frequency possible … how can it produce low frequency? It cannot produce low frequency results … any more than cats can give birth to puppies or vice-versa. High frequency can only generate high frequency and low frequency can only generate low… it’s that simple.

Only our own negative thoughts can make us suffer. So when we notice ourselves feeling pain, we quickly question our thoughts towards “upping” our frequency.

We strive to make conscious what we are telling ourselves and then we ask whether that thought is high or low frequency. If it takes us down, we know that it is ego driven and therefore in need of clearing.

When a painful memory surfaces, notice what the feelings are that come up with it. Remind yourself that there is no feeling that comes up that you can’t handle… you’ve already lived through it!
Follow the feeling into the story behind it. Question that story using the four questions of Byron Katie’s “The Work”.
And forgive … forgive others and forgive yourself for believing and replaying those old, painful memories in your mind over and over again. What self torture we endure for ego sake!
This is why we say that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. Forgiveness “ups” our frequency so that we can treat ourselves more kindly and aligns us with our true desires.

Death Is No “Gift”…Or Is It?

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I got some strong feedback disagreeing with some of what I said yesterday about death. Hearing the feedback brought me awareness of how my words could come across – It definitely could sound like I am discounting grief and that wasn’t my intention. I apologize if that’s how it sounds to you.

One concern was about saying such things to someone who has just lost a loved one. It’s true… these thoughts are not necessarily for the newly bereaved. I suppose I was sharing more from a “philosophical” perspective – I was trying to teach through the lens of Universal Principles – I may not have done it very well. 🙁

Let me see if I can say it a little bit better….

It seems the word “gift” was a trigger for some….

I DO believe in the grieving process. I think it is essential to “melt” the pain of loss through tears and expression. And it takes however long it takes. I have also experienced for myself and heard others say that they received many “gifts” through the process of loss. Let me name a few of my own.

The grieving process for my father opened me to a whole new level of personal growth work – Breathwork was a “gift” that came to me as a result of my own grief process. It became a primary vehicle for cleansing and releasing my own emotional body as well as powerfully transforming resource in my work with others.

My father’s dying process brought healing between us in a way that had not been possible until then. We were finally able to get real with each other – say things we had both wanted to say, and forgive, accept and express our gratitude for each other – ALL because of his dying. There were SO many gifts there. Death was definitely a friend for him … he was facing a long hard struggle if he lived on. He was tired and told me he was looking forward to moving on. My impression was that he saw it as a gift. There were SO many gifts in that whole sacred passage for us. I have had similar experiences with the friends I was priviledged to be close to through their dying process.

I continue my relationship with them all internally. I talk with my dad, for instance…I’ll hear him just as plain as day and seemingly out of the blue sometime… hear him comment on something I’m doing or thinking. He is still “alive” in me.

Yes, there is a very physical “missing” that I definitely experience on occasion for my father and for close friends who have died. I like to give myself permission to feel it and allow it to bring up those, sometimes painfully sweet memories of our past togetherness. I also notice the stories that come with the pain and am careful to investigate the ones that take me too far down the frequency scale. For instance, one belief that came up for me was, “I have to suffer for a long time when someone I love dies, or it means I didn’t care.” I’ve investigated that one and found it to be untrue for me.

I have come to believe that my deceased loved ones want me to move on, to find happiness again and grow to be the best I can be … what better honoring of them than to say, “I learned from your passing. I have integrated what I learned in a way that enables me to, not only be a better person, but also be of more service to others.” Or, in other words, “I have assimilated the best of what I learned from you … you and I are now one. You live on in and through me.” At least that is what I hope those I leave behind feel in relation to my passing.

One other thought… and this is just for me… I understand if it doesn’t fit for you. My greatest desire is to live in harmony with what is … I am totally miserable when I fight against life – or death. WHAT IS, IS. Death, whether it’s death of someone or some thing, teaches us surrender to what is. Death is the ultimate finality … my desire is to be at peace with it because I have no choice. As a result I look for the highest frequency explanation about this phenomena which is a fact of life … because I cannot change it. (The Serenity Prayer; “Lord, help me accept the things I cannot change…”)

My desire is to have a way of understanding this thing I cannot control so that I can align and be in harmony with the reality of it. To see it as the enemy implies that I am a victim, at the mercy of a cruel and meaningless Universe. This does not work for me at all.

I can see how this can come across as intellectual platitudes. However, for me it is very real. It works. I am able to relax about my own dying and accept the reality of death around me better when I see it this way. That is all I am trying to say.

I hope I did a better job this time. 🙂

Blessings, Lynne

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