Once I began to practice seeing my life situation through a lens of universal principles I stopped feeling powerless in my relationships with others. Instead of feeling mistreated by my husband (as I had been doing) for instance, I was able to see that his behavior was a reflection of that part of myself that was frequently frustrated and short tempered towards myself (& him)! I became able to see that my husband had been treating me the same way I tended to treat myself! His negative interaction with me had served to reflect to me my own negative feelings towards myself.
My judgments of my husband when turned around showed themselves to be my own thoughts and feelings towards myself. My complaint, “He is mean and insensitive” became “I am mean and insensitive towards myself and my needs.” It was so true. These had been my thoughts about myself for years. I’d never recognized them. Instead I had projected them onto my husband!
No wonder I had struggled with depression and resentment! Not because of how he had treated me but because of how I had been thinking and feeling about myself! His gruff interaction with me served as the red alert to blow the whistle on the way I had been treating myself! Suddenly I was able to feel great appreciation for my husband. He was my mirror. Without him I would not have noticed (or been motivated to change) how I treated myself.
My need to complain about and change my husband (and others) evaporated as I realized these truths. Instead of storing animosity towards him I turned my attention towards working out a kinder relationship with myself. I started spending more time doing things that I enjoyed and wanted to learn more about. I stopped accusing and blaming my husband for my unhappiness. I began to appreciate his role in helping me get to know myself better … and the most amazing thing happened!
You may find this hard to believe but my husband’s interaction with me improved dramatically! I no longer felt discounted by him and he began to express affection and respect towards me. He told me later that he felt that I had become more accepting and understanding towards him! His change in perception of me resulted in his feeling less frustrated and irritated with me. It was therefore easier for him to be kinder, more loving and patient. These changes occurred between us as my relationship with myself became more kind and accepting.
This is an example of what I mean when I say that relationship is a sacred path. Our relationship with a significant other reflects our present standing in our relationship with ourselves and Source.