The much dreaded time has come. My mothers death is eminent and we must give her up. We’ve all gathered, her family and loved ones, each of us with our own idea about how we think it should go; all of us sharing an earnest desire to love and support her through her final days.
My brother and I spoke about how we, as recently, as a few months back, thought it inconceivable to imagine our lives without our mom in it. Now we share a totally different perspective. Now we wait in anticipated relief for her last breath, knowing only then will she be free of pain.
Love changes things. Attitudes, beliefs, feelings and responses are sometimes changed dramatically, radically, through the power of love.
For instance, my mothers beloved husband of 30 plus years has moved from being in total denial around the seriousness of her illness to accepting the reality of her eminent death at breakneck speed, especially considering that he is 85 years old with his own very definite (some would say rigid) ideas about life. In a matter of a few days, he has gone from being totally unable to concede to the reality of her steady decline to whispering supportive words of surrender in her ear, “You can go, sweetheart. I will be ok. Just let go. Don’t worry about me.”
What happened to bring about such dramatic change? Only love. His tremendous love and desire to see her suffering come to an end, to facilitate her release because it is what is right for her, has allowed him to place her well being and comfort ahead of his own inner demand to hang on to her with all his might.
Indeed love has the power to change even that which was previously considered immutable.
When we love this completely, we find the courage to do the impossible, to face a reality that would otherwise appear to be more than we can bear. Such is the capacity of the human heart.