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What’s Our Responsibility And What’s Not?

 photo credit: woodleywonderworks In getting off the Victim Triangle we must shift our priorities by changing our perception about who we are and are not responsible for. Below is a list of shifts that occur in our primary relationships as we recover from rescuing: Taking responsibility for ourselves becomes our number one priority regardless of how selfish we used to think taking care of ourselves

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Recovery From Rescuing

photo credit: alisonkanegae Family Rescuers don’t like it when other family members are angry with them. When we relate to others from a primarily rescuer role, we hate for others to think we are mean or unfair because our sense of self worth and self importance comes from having others look to and depend on us. In other words, we need to be needed so

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“But They Need Me!”

photo credit: Stephen Glauser It can be difficult once we have identified ourselves as Rescuers to stop taking responsibility for someone we’re in the habit of rescuing. Exactly how hard it is to refrain from care-taking them depends on how much they have come to rely on, even expect us to rescue them. They may really believe it is our job to take care of

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Questioning Our Limiting Notions About Others

photo credit: ePi.Longo As rescuers. we tend to believe that our dependent loved one(s) really can’t take care of themselves and … well, they often agree with us. They don’t happen to think that they can take care of themselves either! Such a mutually shared belief keeps us, as rescuers hooked into rescuer mode. (After all, “what will happen to them if we don’t take

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