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The Victim Addiction

photo credit: Lomo-Cam Victim consciousness is the number one addiction that underlies all addictions … which may at least partially explain why it is so hard for some of us to take space from those who abuse us. We are commonly addicted to being on the victim triangle with one another; we are addicted to rescuing (trying to control their outcomes), and persecuting others (when

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Victim Consciousness & Its Opposite

photo credit: Robbert van der Steeg I have lived on all sides of addiction (alcohol & drugs) and so have much personal experience with life on the victim triangle or what we call victim consciousness. I’ve found that moving out of victim consciousness requires that we move into its opposite, observer consciousness. A primary requirement for accessing observer consciousness is the knowledge that our thoughts

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Shaming ourselves does not stop negative behavior

The more we shame ourselves for something we do that we feel is not healthy, the more we will feel powerless to stop it. Powerlessness is the worst feeling imaginable. It’s easier to deny the issue altogether than to feel so at its mercy. And that is usually exactly what we do next. After judging an addictive pattern, for instance as hopeless, we will swing

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Resistance and shame reinforce addiction ….

Resistance is a form of negative attention. “Anything we resist persists” … as the saying goes. As mentioned previously, attention is a fertilizer. Resistance is the negative form of attention we give to something that we don’t like. We start fighting against it – through protest perhaps, or by verbal attack … we “should” it or lambast it or feel “bad” about it … etc.

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In Arzua, on the Camino

We met a young man, Ben, on the camino, the only other person so far from the states that we’ve encountered.  He told us that he was getting ready to start med school in the fall.  I loved his report of the 6 weeks on the camino so far.  He said, Ät first I was bored – I do not speak Spanish so there was

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