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Dreaming Myself Awake; The Victim Mind-Set Revealed

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I want to share a powerful dream I had recently that did a beautiful job of illustrating how the victim mind takes over our consciousness and invokes internal terror. This dream has awakened me to a whole new level of seeing life. Perhaps you will gain something from it as well.

The dream: I was happily living with my lover in our home, which was a huge stone chamber that was perched on the side of a mountain. My home was more like a cozy cavern than a cave;  it was spacious with high ceilings and lots of natural light. It was truly beautiful and comfortably decorated with large rugs and wall hangings and a huge bed in the middle of the space, overlooking the mountain view below.

My lover was a fit and handsome young man, and we were happily enjoying our time together. We were physically close and ageless, and we laughed easily together. At one point we were in the bed. He was scantily clothed and I was naked beneath the covers.

Suddenly, three big, threatening men, barged into our space and accosted my lover. They paid no attention to me at all, but they pulled him out of the bed and began to threaten and abuse him. I watched, but did not get involved. They hurled accusations at him which I knew were not true. I knew he had done nothing wrong. I did not want to reveal my nakedness  so I stayed beneath the covers, observing as they brutalized my lover.

The whole time I watched them abuse him I knew they could not hurt me. Nor did I feel particularly fearful for him. On some level I understood that it was an illusion and not real and that they could not physically touch me at all …

Nonetheless, I consciously chose (and it felt distinctly like a choice) to play a part in the unfolding drama, and so I did. I took on the role of the traumatized victim. “Putting on” a glassy, unfocused gaze, as if I were in shock, I played the part of the horribly impacted victim, while, in fact,  internally, I remained detached.

And then, I became my lover – I mean, I literally felt what it was to inhabit his body and feel his feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. As him, I saw myself  at the mercy of the three thugs who beat me and tossed me into a deep pit made of sheer rock sides. I felt what it was, to be thrown into what I perceived to be a death trap of no escape. I was totally into the role of being him, and felt I was at the end of my life – that there was no way out.

Then I was back again in my female body, lying in my bed, surrounded by these three thugs. They taunted me and made threats, and I played the part of being a victim in shock, until I started believing the part – but not completely. During the whole time there remained a very conscious part of me that knew that nothing could really hurt me. I knew it was pretend – a charade; that in fact, I was fully protected, and thereby untouchable. They could not physically go beyond the invisible barrier around my bed which served as a bubble of protection.

Even knowing that I was ultimately safe, I watched myself choose to play the part of the victim, pretending that they had power over me, and that I was at their mercy. Half believing the lie and half knowing it was not so.

I suddenly got tired of the whole game of playing victim, and wanted the thugs to just go away. What is so interesting to me, however, is that instead of calling them on their phantom game, or simply refusing to participate, as one might expect; My dream ego decided to exacerbate the game instead. I chose to go deeper into the role I was playing,  and so I proceeded to scream loudly for help … as if I thought that would somehow scare them off.

I, then woke myself up with my own cries for help.

It puzzled me as I pondered the dream upon awakening, that the feminine part, or my Divine Feminine, as I came to understand her, who knew better, would consciously choose to play the victim all the way through to my literal wake-up moment! Why in the world … ?

While you might be thinking,Wow, what a disturbing dream, – to me, this dream delivered a potent message  (I do not refer to it as a nightmare because I was enlightened by it). Delivered straight from the psyche, it came as a support for the deep work I've been doing for years towards making victim patterns conscious. I believe this dream came to awaken me to Reality –  and it did just that.

It awakened me in a way that I feel to my depths, right up to this moment, several days later. My rude wake-up in the wee hours of the morning allowed me to Wake Up and see the total story of what my mind likes to believe is real. I have felt immensely relieved with a new level of freedom since the dream. It is as if I woke up from the dream of dreaming my own unhappy dream.

As I have reflected on this big dream, I have come to see its relevance, not just for me, but might well serve many on some level.

My dream starts out with a beautiful description of a highly elevated home with a “rock solid” foundation. Located in the mountains, which may represent an ascended state of being, as symbolized by its high ceilings, light-filled room  (the light of consciousness). The couple was happy and content in one another's company, and greatly enjoying their time together, and they were content in their nakedness. (sort of like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden) This amply describes the natural state of well-being that is accessible to us all once we know how to return to it.

There on the mountain-top, I am living as both sides of the couple, polar opposites of one another, and yet compatible. The Divine Feminine part of me who remembers and does not forget who I am, and the male Earth ego, who totally gets caught up in the mind-made, or victim story of who I think I am.

I associate the Divine Feminine as being that part of me, and in all of us, who knows I am eternally safe, who does not feel threatened ever because she knows that nothing can destroy the I am – even when appearances say otherwise. She knows that we are of eternal substance. She is totally vulnerable in her naked innocence and yet totally indestructible; she cannot die. She witnesses life, but does not get involved in the drama of it, except (evidently) when she chooses to do so – and then she becomes the action-oriented, reactive-prone, masculine counterpart who likes to wrangle with reality. (Or at least that is what she did in my dream.)

The male counterpart may be that part of us that forgets our true nature. Perhaps he represents the logical mind who analyzes life according to the world's standards. He is that part of us that falls into the deep pit of drama, and is overwhelmed with feelings of being unfairly treated and abused. In my dream he appeared strong.  He represents the one who gets taken down by the three thugs, which, I believe represent the self-destructive voices that live in our own  mind and who attack our vulnerabilities with false accusations and abusive negative thoughts. It is these fear-breeding, mind-made thugs that throw us into the pit of hopelessness, where we are held prisoner as long as we buy their lies and negative spin which says there is no escape.

Again, one of the things that got my attention most about this dream was how the Divine Feminine who knew I was NOT a victim, nevertheless chose to play the part anyway! Why would she do that?

I immediately begin to think of all the ways I have proclaimed victim status. For instance, by emphasizing the negative side of a situation, rather than looking for the more positive possibilities. Perhaps I have done that as a way to join in co-misery with someone else – a sort of bonding ritual. Or perhaps I believed that doing so would elicit some sort of help, or rescue. Knowing that I am okay, I have at times,  opted to play the part of the travailed against victim.

And then it occurred to me that the Divine Feminine might choose to play victim as a legitimate move. There might even be a real purpose and design to it! The more I thought about it, the more I see how that could be … it prompted me to ask the question, how else would I know so much about victim consciousness except by taking on the victim role uncountable times in my own life? So the real question is: What does it teach me? What lessons does it bring me? How has it served me to play victim?

In asking myself these questions, I experienced a total shift in the way I saw my life. I realized that my life was perfectly designed for me. It brought me the lessons that led to the answers that I came to discover. Every part of my life, the highs and the lows, the struggles and challenges, have all been part of what I came to experience – in order to prepare me for the work I came to share. My central focus has been on learning all about the mind and especially the mental state of victim consciousness. I had to go there – deep into the throes of victim consciousness to truly understand it so I could move beyond it and become a way-shower for others stuck there too.  I saw that my life experience, with its many flavors of victim, was required learning for the role I am here to play.  I saw that I chose this path through the brambles of life, as challenging as it has been, because I wanted to understand the victim archetype intimately. My own Essential Self chose to experience, and experiment, with the various roles of victim for the opportunity to share it with those who, like me, want to live beyond it.

My dream showed me the clear reality of who I truly am. It separated me from the victim role I have often played, and indelibly imprinted the truth of how perfectly designed by me my life is and has been!

Realizing that I cannot be harmed has opened my eyes in a way that I had not experienced before. Once again, I remembered  that I am safe, protected and literally untouchable by anything beyond love. I am love. I am innocent. I am made of consciousness which cannot be destroyed. This is who I am. Who we are.

Awakening to seeing the truth of who I am has made it harder to forget that I am made of eternal stuff. I am awakened to the Reality that I can choose, and to remember that the victim story is a total fabrication and illusion. It does not matter which I choose, because both visions (of myself as a victim or as an Eternal Being) have meaning and gifts to offer. However they do offer very different returns: one vision entails much less suffering than the other. I also see that it is possible to opt for playing victim and still remember that I am acting the part and not truly a victim at all.

Let me end on this note: there is nothing about our life that we did not choose – either consciously – or otherwise (mostly). Your life, like mine, is perfectly designed as that Divine Essence in you, for purposes that go beyond worldly standards of wealth, success, or fame.

I see that I have chosen a life designed to deliver me from victim consciousness by walking me through it. And now, I have decided to experience the Reality of a life lived by a woman who remembers who she is. I walk in total gratitude, knowing that I am loved, protected, and abundantly provided for. I am awake to my true nature. And blessed beyond measure. I am so grateful for nightmares that bring gifts of awakening.

Blessings, Lynne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victim Consciousness and Victimized are NOT the Same Thing; Clearing the Confusion …

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It startles and saddens me when I am accused of being a “victim basher.” And yet, taken out of context, and without understanding, I can see how my words might lead one to think such thoughts. Nothing, however could be further from the truth, Please allow me to clarify the difference between being victimized and being in victim consciousness – for they are not the same thing at all.:
 
Victim consciousness is a state of consciousness that can exist whether or not we've been victimized. Of course there are REAL victims! That is Reality. There are victims of all kinds of sordid abuse, of disease, of disaster, and on and on … However did you know that although we might be (or have been ) a victim without going into victim consciousness?
Victim Consciousness is a state of mind that has to do with how we frame the things that happen to us …  actually we can be in victim consciousness even if we haven't been victimized at all! Victim consciousness is the state of mind we lapse into anytime we blame our circumstances on someone or something outside ourselves. Victims of victim consciousness see themselves as being at the mercy of their life circumstances – they see themselves as being powerless, hopeless, and at the mercy of outside forces. They believe the outside world must change before they can be happy or at peace. They believe the world and others must be different before they can be okay, which is the primary reason people attempt to control others and their surroundings! Often simply the fact that someone disagrees with us or says something we don't like can spiral us into victim consciousness!
 
The truth is that we are NOT at the mercy of our surroundings. What happens to us does not have to determine how we think or feel. Reality says that it's what we tell ourselves ABOUT what's happening around us that determines our degree of inner peace. We are in charge of the way we feel and think and react … else we truly are like leafs in the wind, being blown about by every breeze that comes along.
Although someone (and I speak from my own life experience) may hurt, offend, attack, or threaten us – we get to choose how we will perceive, feel, and react to it. This is what those who are NOT living in victim consciousness know and practice. Even horrendous happenings cannot rob us of peace unless we allow it. We may be victims but victim consciousness is always optional. We can be victimized terribly and choose NOT to collapse into victim consciousness!
And here's something else to chew on … every abuser or perpetrator IS indeed in victim consciousness.
 
Why? Because persecution and perpetration are acts that come from a BELIEF that one has been unfairly treated, and therefore must vindicate the wrongdoing they feel they have endured from others. Persecutors enter a state of victim consciousness to JUSTIFY victimizing others! To persecute another is to see ONESELF as a victim who is simply acting in self-defense so they strike out at, or overpower others to vindicate or protect themselves.
 
Of course, persecutors end up, most often, with consequences for their behavior that reinforces their own “victim” stance. This is what the Victim Triangle, which defines the three defense strategies of Victim CONSCIOUSNESS teaches. My job is to share with others the nature of victim consciousness so that they KNOW they have a choice – not side with abusers! I teach the victim triangle which clearly describes the three roles we play when we are in victim consciousness and shows us that NO MATTER WHATE ROLE WE START OUT IN ON THE VICTIM TRIANGLE, SOONER OR LATER, WE END UP IN VICTIM – YES EVEN PERSECUTORS.
I myself have been victimized. During childhood, I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused. I have been terrorized and terrified. I understand the pain and emotional damage that can occur when we take on the abuse done to us as being ABOUT us – and yes, it IS difficult NOT to take it on and personalize abuse. And yet, IF THERE IS TO BE TRUE HEALING, and inner peace we must indeed stop seeing ourselves as victims and begin to see ourselves as survivors and thrivers instead.
 
Moving OUT of Victim Consciousness, and beyond the seeing of ourselves as forever victims who must live painful lives because of what someone else did to us (without denying the victimization OR giving in to it) IS imperative if we are going to be able to achieve the goals we want to achieve. And, yes, it is a process – often a long one. I am not trying to minimize the process of healing from having been victimized that one must go through to move into the belief that “I get to choose how I will see, believe, feel, and react to this.”
 
I discovered during my own process of healing, the barrier that Victim CONSCIOUSNESS was causing in me. I saw clearly that blaming my persecutors (which does not mean I make excuses for them or that I try and protect them from the full ramifications of their behavior) was only holding me captive to a reduced identity of myself as being damaged goods.
 
I spent years of doing exactly that, blaming, and feeling less than, feeling unworthy and irreparably damaged by what happened to me until I finally realized that it was my thinking about what had happened to me, and not the happenings themselves, that were holding me back. As long as I believed that I was forever damaged by what had happened to me, I continued to feel and act the part of the forever wounded victim. (Remember the Universal principle that says: “When we believe what we think, we automatically feel and act as if it is true ,,, “.) I saw that seeing myself as a victim was what was holding me prisoner, and NOT the act itself!
YES, I believe that abusers and perpetrators need to experience consequences for what they do. As a matter of fact, I am a BIG believer in allowing people to face the full brunt of the consequences of their choices – for I believe that is the only way to see the need to do it different next time.
 
It's just that I stopped making myself miserable to prove to my abusers, myself, and the world, how badly I'd been damaged. I got tired of limping through because someone abused me, and  decided instead to focus my thoughts and life energy on living my life in a way that was empowering. I decided to let the abuse turn me into a stronger, wiser, more flexible person so that I could live my life to it's fullest, biggest capability – and THAT HAS  WORKED FOR ME.
My work is for those who are interested in learning more about transforming our victim consciousness (we all lapse into it at times, btw). I am not molly-coddling persecutors, nor bashing victims at all. I am simply saying no to victim consciousness. There's a big difference between the two stances. I hope this writing helped to clarify those differences.
Blessings,

The Three Gifts of Victim Consciousness

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Each of the three roles on the victim triangle teach a particular lesson that, once learned, becomes the gift of that role on the Observer Triangle.

The victim, for instance, teaches surrender and humility through powerlessness. Learning when we are truly powerless is part of what it is to come alignment with Reality. The Victim transformed becomes the Observer who knows how to surrender their personal will to Source.

The Persecutor on the triangle teaches about boundaries. In true learning fashion we bounce from boundariless-ness (if there is such a word!) to walls where we are totally locked in even as we lock others out. On the Observer Triangle the persecutor/bully becomes a respectful leader (Bully's are generally misguided leaders).

The third role, the Rescuer offers us the gift of authentic service. through rescuing we learn how to separate our need for approval from being a true server or conduit for Source. On the Observer triangle, we refer to the transformed Rescuer as an Empowering Friend – one who does not see others as needing a rescue but trusts their process, no matter how painful it may be to be what they need to do.

When you find yourself on the victim triangle, look for the opportunity to transform that victim role into it's gift instead.

Blessings, Lynne

Defining Victim Consciousness vs Observer Consciousness

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Victim consciousness is not something we suddenly acquire – it is a habituated perception of the world that we grow up with and never think to question. Everyone we know is steeped in it and we take it on during childhood as a normal way of seeing the world. What that means is that everyone we know are all most likely reacting from one of the three roles on the Victim Triangle most of the time.

Now that probably sounds hopeless, and truthfully, without awareness, it is an endless trip around the victim triangle. But conscious awareness allows the surfacing of a very different type of consciousness – one the Reality Formula Process© calls “Observer Consciousness” – that with practice moves us quickly out of v.c., no matter who or what circumstances we are dealing with.

Let's define these two states of consciousness in simple terms:

We are in victim consciousness anytime we see the people and situations in our lives as the cause of our emotional state of well-being. When we think they “make” us feel unhappy (or happy) we are in Victim Consciousness because we are putting something outside of ourselves in charge of our emotional well-being (or lack thereof)! No wonder we constantly try to manipulate and control our life circumstances! We think our well-being is dependent upon those outside circumstances.

The antidote to this way of seeing is Observer Consciousness, a state of consciousness that allows us to step back from our habitual way of perceiving the world as victims (reacting to life from any one of the three roles on the Victim Triangle (victim, persecutor, rescuer) and question our victim thoughts instead. Rather than reacting blindly from unhappy beliefs. Observer consciousness allows us to understand that our feelings always come from our own thoughts, rather than from external consequences. We tend to think that our feelings come first and then prompt our thinking – but it is actually the other way round; the unhappy thought or belief is triggered first and THEN our feelings come out of that.

We maintain a deeply ingrained, and taken-for-granted mind-set (a habitual thought pattern or neural pathway) that gets triggered by external circumstances which in turn, triggers both feelings and reactions automatically. We go into react mode once these old neural pathways or victim mind-set is triggered. In Observer consciousness we learn to observe our own reactions to the people and situations around us instead of trying to control or manipulate them. Seems like a little thing – but it makes a huge difference, because stepping back into an observer role changes everything.

When we are in Observer Consciousness, instead of acting blindly (thoughts create feelings that prompts behavior that ends up reinforcing what we think) we consciously choose to see our life circumstances through certain Guiding Principles or Universal Laws that allow us to reframe our thinking about those circumstances. In Observer Consciousness we recognize through our emotional response and reactions when we are in Victim Consciousness and we take action to find the thought (or belief) within us that is causing our negative feelings and reactions and reframe it for a more positive response. This style of interaction puts us squarely in charge of our own emotional well-being. In other words, we take complete responsibility for our own happiness.

Here's  an example that was shared with me by my son, Andrew, who lived with an aging parent (his partner's mother) who was struggling with mental confusion:

As a teacher, Andrew worked late most evenings. This particular evening he arrived home at his usual time, around 9:30 pm to find his 85 year old mother-in-law, waiting impatiently for him and his partner to arrive home. She was sitting at the kitchen table in front of a clean, empty plate. On the stove was a fully prepared, but cold, meal of cooked vegetables and rice. As soon as he stepped into the room, she started complaining about how hungry she was. She spoke about how she had cooked dinner and waited, in vain, “for hours” for them to come home so she could eat. He asked, “why didn't you eat the food you cooked?” Obviously distraught, she said, “I can't eat by myself, (her unhappy belief) and now my blood sugar is all messed up because you guys were not here to help me. You know it's bad for my diabetes not to eat on time. Obviously there's nobody to take care of me (an example of a core belief) and I'm too old to take care of myself! (another adjunct unhappy belief) I don't know what I'm going to do!”

How one might handle such a situation depends on what state of consciousness one is in. From Victim Consciousness a typical response might come from a mixed state of guilt and resentment triggered by feelings that accept total responsibility for the mother-in-law's well-being. The tendency when we are in Victim Consciousness would be to buy into the mother-in-law's perception of herself as being helpless, in spite of the fact that she had managed to prepare the food for herself! The response from the martyred, rescuer/victim might go something like this:

“I come home every night at this same time (spoken in raised voice) –  I don't know why you would think tonight would be any different! I can't do everything for you! Well never mind, I'm here now so eat your meal. Here, I cut up your vegetables for you …  What do you mean, “it's too late!” “where are you going? You cannot go to bed without eating. I know it's cold but you have to eat something! Ok, ok, I'll fix you something else – what would you like?” And then the rescuer would proceed to spend the next hour or more trying to placate and fix the situation, meanwhile neglecting their own needs, perhaps failing to even feed themselves!

However from Observer Consciousness, one responds from Reality and the response might sound more like this:

“You didn't eat the food you prepared for yourself? (spoken with curiosity, not condescension) That surprises me. No wonder you are upset and hungry if you believe you can't eat alone! Wow … that sounds painful. You think you can't take care of yourself, is that right? Are you sure that's true? No wonder you're so hungry – refusing to eat, because you thought we had to be here for you to take care of yourself! No wonder you are angry with us!  Thank you so much for fixing your own meal and taking care of yourself … and I appreciate your wanting to wait for us before you eat, but please DO take care of yourself first next time!”

In Victim Consciousness we often operate from an assumption that the other person, even though they may have some limitations, cannot take care of themselves. We buy into their limited notions about themselves and end up fostering their dependency by taking care of them in ways that they may well be very capable of doing for themselves.

Whereas in Observer Consciousness there is no demand that we assume responsibility for the other persons feelings and reactions, even if that person has obvious limitations. From Observer Consciousness we assume others can take care of themselves, and we let them be in charge of doing that to their best ability. This allows THEM to find the place where their capabilities are limited instead of us defining it for them. And it allows them to stay as independent as they can for as long as possible. Everyone benefits as a result.

One last, quick example I want to share – this one provided by a client who shared with me that her aging mother, who had recently moved in with her, had become so dependent on her taking care of her every little need that she had stopped taking the short walk to the end of the front sidewalk to gather her mail from the mailbox, even though she was fully capable of walking. After a few sessions, my client gave her mother back the job of retrieving her own mail. What was most surprising to my client, was that not only did her mother begin to walk to the mailbox for her mail, but within a week she was walking to the end of the street and back,”for the exercise” and was proclaiming to all who would listen about how much stronger and all round better she felt as a result!

The bottom line is this: doing for others what they can do for themselves is never truly helpful for them or us.

The Law of Cause & Effect Denies Coincidence even in Cases of Abuse …

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Since there are NO coincidences, we know that this thing that is happening in our qigong community is not an aberrant happening … it is a call to Awaken those parts of us that are still lost in blame…

Personally I have no desire to talk anybody in to or out of anything. That is not the intention of this post. I trust that we each are handling the situation of abuse in our qigong community in the way we must …  and I hold a vision of a greater peace becoming possible between us all. I want to write about THAT possibility.

As I see it, we either trust the Guiding Principles to be true or we don't. We trust they mean what they teach on EVERY LEVEL, including situations like this which we find ourselves in now, or we don't.

For our qigong community and for our super-star teacher (for that he is!) it means that what is IS for a reason. The first guiding principle is based on the Law of Cause and Effect, which, among other things, teaches that there are no coincidences in life. What we experience with one another is the natural consequence of a previous cause.

For example, let's say your dog, frightened by stormy weather, snapped at the hand of a friend, who retaliated by slapping the dog, which prompted you to intervene for your pet by verbally dressing down the friend whose hand was bitten. As a result your friend turns on you in anger and resentment, prompting you to react negatively to her, and on and on and on … Of course, which side of the fence you are riding determines whether you see what's happening as a “good” or a “bad” thing. And that will change as you shift places with your friend, moving from one unhappy position to another. (Notice there is no happy place on the triangle!) The bottom line is that every happening was connected to a previous “cause,” creating a chain of cause and effect. In that same way, we are all links on a chain of events connected by the same original cause. Spiritual principles teach us that the original cause is always mental by design. In other words, what causes us to be and do what we do is the thoughts behind the action. Blaming thoughts hold us in victim consciousness and make peace impossible.

As long as we blame we are still moving around the victim triangle, from feeling victimized (Victim), to justified rage(Persecutor), to feeling the need to rescue the perceived victims (Rescuer) by pointing out to them their victim status, and initiating a few rounds of “Ain't It Awful”  with them to really drive home the fact that they have been violated.

PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME! I am not trying to imply that we must minimize what has happened, nor does it help to justify, or rationalize the actions of our teacher. Far from it … It's just that when we step back from blame and look at the situation through the guiding principles, we quickly realize that there is no “side” to take! What we see instead is an opportunity in our community to move past blame.

After all we get to choose whether to split ourselves off into two categories: victims versus perpetrators. Or whether we choose to move past the need to ascribe blame towards a greater understanding instead. To insist on ascribing victim/persecutor status to individuals, is to keep us going round and round on the victim triangle.

Although the reasons we are having this experience in our lives may vary from individual to individual, we are still one body with varied parts having this experience together and interpreting it in our own unique way. When we accuse others, it is always important to also look for where the accused lives within us!

It's also helpful to remember that we are vibrational beings, which means we magnetically attract the people and experiences we need to encounter that will motivate us for change most. Perhaps we attracted this teacher into our lives because we needed to experience the voice in us that identifies itself as a victim. Perhaps we need to stand up for ourselves, speak our truth, or walk away from something to take care of ourselves … Perhaps on the other hand, we tend to be the one who “takes advantage of” others … in some way … Perhaps we are being given the opportunity to make peace with the part of us that abuses ourselves!

We only know that we need to do what we do, because those are the things we find ourselves doing. OR perhaps we need to stay and experience abuse, or for some other reason … perhaps we don't see abuse at all … but whatever our Reality is, it is always based on our own thoughts, beliefs and interpretations of the situation.

There is not a single thing we encounter on our path that is not there by the Universe's design and Its desire to help us awaken to the Reality we create through the thoughts we believe. This is what we mean when we say there is NO problem. I hold no “should's” about what I'm hearing, or about what the Teacher or any of the students who are stepping forward to present their thoughts and truth “should” do. I trust that each of us are learning from this event in our lives. (I know I am!)

 

While shifting our perception away from blame may not alter the course of the action we feel we must take, it dramatically changes the vibrational frequency of both outcome, AND the way we feel and see it from inside.

Seeing ourselves as victims of a “sexual predator” for instance, may spiral us down on the victim triangle to hell, whereas seeing ourselves as having gotten involved with someone who uses females for his own purposes leaves us free to ask why we needed that particular experience (how do we know we needed it? because we had it – it is what is… ) It allows us to look for how we can grow from the situation, and free us up to choose differently next time: i.e. “I learned that lesson, and now must move on … or take a stand … or report abuse… ” or whatever it is we feel we must do – not from a place of victim/blame, but because it is what we must do to learn what this is happening to teach us.

But when we see ourselves as being a victim (remember we can be victimized, without ever resorting to victim consciousness!) we take that ride… we feel all the feelings and think all the thoughts that go with the belief that we are a victim of the circumstances, and we will play the part. To see the situation as something we experienced to help us see our own beliefs better and what those beliefs are attracting into our lives leaves us feeling stronger, more enlightened, and like we took an unpleasant situation and used it for our own refinement! NO BLAME – of them – of ourselves.

But it lets THEM off the hook, we think, right? It's our job to punish them? We must control their behavior? Are these things true? When we believe these things who do we become?

It's like being in a pit with a rattlesnake … we appreciate it's beauty, even as we respect it's bite… but we don't make their behavior about or at us! We don't need to see ourselves as the snake's victim … nor do we need to turn the snake into some evil force … it's just a snake doing what snakes do …

Teachers simply do what they do to play out their own beliefs for their own growing edge so they can see in visible form that which they believe … in other words, they are JUST LIKE US!

And if a teacher is playing out a story that mixes and mingles with our own, that is not by accident either! Perhaps our work is to  call him on his behavior … it could be that we are called on to play that part. And we can trust he must have needed to experience that too  …  life relentlessly reflects to us the frequency we put out … this is how we come to know what our internal programming is – through playing it out with others and facing the consequences that programming brings. Perhaps, for instance, he needed to hear his own internal voice speaking to him through our harsh words … there is no right or wrong … it's all happening right on time for the purpose of evolving souls.

To move past blame we access the Observer Consciousness which does not operate from blame.

The Observer has no need to deem one person's acts “wrong,” and another person's acts “right.” It does not need to take sides – even though it may appear to do so on occasion.

The Observer in us looks at the situation through a lens that sees no blame; It sees people, not as good or bad, right or wrong, but as having the life process they came to have through the encounters and people they meet on their vibrational frequency pathway…

The Observer is not invested personally in what action is taken … It knows that people do what they do because they believe what they think, and that what they think is what causes them to feel and react the way they do, and that is what then attracts to them that which will prove them right. (so says the Reality Formula™) …

The Observer Self does not have a list of should's about how the outcome of a particular situation should go; it does not demand that others act any differently than they do. The Observer simply sees what is. It sees Reality as a growth opportunity for everyone involved.

Since Earth is where we come to live out, in three-dimensional form, the thoughts we believe, the Observer trusts that which we each attract into our lives – not to be painless – but to expand and grow us … which is truly the soul's greatest interest.

The Observer sees what is, without needing to make how others respond into our business. What any of us, including the Teacher in question, gets from this current situation, or what anyone else learns from it, is NOT our business – the Observer notes. We do not need to judge or blame to set thing right. We simply see Reality for what it is and apply what we see to refining ourselves for the greatest results.

To recapitulate, there is no remedy, no real transformation possible through Blame. Blaming another, even when we are right, will not “make” them different. But the widely accepted worldview says WE must judge, label, and punish those we blame. Nonetheless, regardless of how many systems use blame as their primary default to stop “abuse,” it does not enhance it's ability to do so. Quite the opposite, in fact; the more we blame the more we will be blamed, and the more we resist the more we will be met with resistance, and the further from peace we move.

The guiding principles offer an alternative to blame that does not need to separate ourselves from the other, regardless of what they may have done, without denying their behavior or making excuses for them either.

Giving up blame does not mean to DENY or JUSTIFY abuse. It does not mean to pretend it did not happen. It does not mean we must give up our feelings about it happening …

Giving up blame simply means that we have come to ACCEPT the Reality that people do what they do, including violate others, because they believe their own unhappy thoughts. We accept, without making excuses for them, we see the repercussions their choices bring and we step out of the way of trying to intervene on those consequences. We understand that they, like us, are here to experience their path and part of that experience is to live out their beliefs so they can experience the full impact of that … whether they are making choices we approve of or not … that is not our business.

There's a cause and a effect that the Universe is after … and it helps to remember that the Universe always works FOR us (God is LOVE!).

In greatest respect and love for my qi community and the teacher who brought us all together.

Blessings, Lynne

 

 

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