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Are You Making A Case ‘Against’ or ‘For’ You?

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We do make a case, don’t we? We all do. Every one of us makes a strong case in our mind against some ‘thing’ we believe should be different. And we are sure we are right.

We use the ‘facts’ we gather from others who share our stance, as well as the ‘evidence’ we have collected from our own life experience, to verify to ourselves that what we believe is true. For this is the way the mind works. The mind takes a stand and then goes about the business of proving itself right in the stand it has taken.

This is how we create our own personal reality (often otherwise known as our “own mind-made hell.”)

And, well … I don’t know; maybe we ARE right in our assumptions regarding this “thing,” whatever it is … but if we are to do fair research, we must ask ourselves a very important question, the answer to which clearly points out the effect on our experiment of our own biased belief.

The question we must ask ourselves is this; “How is MY presence & participation in this evidence-gathering experiment affecting my findings?”

“How does my own unconscious bias & the feelings that arise naturally from believing it lead to reactions that inevitably end up supporting it? How does my mental stance affect the creditability of my findings?”

The effect our own beliefs/biases have on what we ‘see’ in the world is especially relevant to the outcomes we experience when we come to understand that we literally believe a ‘thing’ (ism, idea, concept, opinion, etc) into being.

We tend to forget that we feel and play the role of whatever part the mind assigns us; we forget that our default reaction when the mind BELIEVES something is for our feelings and behavioral reactions to line up with what we believe.

In other words, we feel and act as if what we tell ourselves is true and when we tell ourselves that others should see this ‘thing’ the way we do, think the way we do, and respond like we think they should, we act in ways that go along with those presumptions, and through our interaction based on these biases, we invite others to respond in ways that will tend to prove us right. In other words, we find the evidence we are looking for – every time – and we don’t even see our part in the mix!

For a less biased ‘research project,’ notice what it is that you feel most passionately about. Look at the part of you that feels compelled to defend your opinion. Who or what are you defending it to or against? What do you think should be different. Find the bias or underlying belief behind it all & then ask yourself, “What part do I play in proving this ‘thing’ to be true? What is the emotional, mental, and physical harvest of that belief?”

Question your biases as a way to step back from your subsequent feelings and default reactions, especially if they are unhappy ones, and then measure as a true witness the truth of your previous biases.

You might be pleasantly surprised to find that without the conviction that some unhappy ‘thing’ is true, we are suddenly freed from having to feel, to act, and to thereby prove, that it is true!

 

Blessings,

Lynne

Peace, Our Choice

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We live in such a beautiful world, a garden of endless possibility. If we believe life is a junkyard, we get to live there. We can be the “junkyard dog!” 😉

If we believe it’s all about pomp & ceremony, we experience that, or we might choose a worldview that lands us in a cosmopolitan world of glitter & crime, or any number of diverse worlds are available – depending on our own inner view.

But, when we see Life as it is in Reality, we experience a cosmic world w/ infinite choice, a virtual banquet spread before us of life-stories we can choose from, and nothing to fear – except our own choice.

What life story are you living? Does it deliver peace or fear? Our happiness depends on the story we choose to live out.

Counting Our Blessings, Christmas, 2011

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I decided to share a Christmas letter with you counting blessings for 2011. May it inspire you to count your own! 🙂

Greetings!

I pray this letter finds you and yours enjoying a peaceful, if not joyful, season, and that you are looking forward to a bright new year!

Since the holiday season is a time to remember back over the year and count our blessings, I decided to write my Christmas letter to you as a way to enumerate and share some of what this past year has inspired my own gratitude. I truly have discovered that no matter our circumstances, there is so much for which to be grateful, There is a principle of abundance that comes to mind as I think about the importance that gratitude plays in generating prosperity; it goes something like this: to have more abundance we must be grateful for the abundance we have! And it is with that intention that I send holiday greetings to you, my loved ones and friends.

G.A.D. Nutcracker, 2011 - The Prince (Andrew) & Clare (Jessica, age 11)

First on my mind, since we just returned, is my gratitude for our son, Andrew, who is indeed a blessing to many. Daniel and I spent four days with him and his precious family in Florida participating in his annual production of The Nutcracker. What a talented, creative man he is! Everything he touches shines with the attention that only a true artist can give – his school, The Guilfoil Academy of Dance (GAD), his home, his students, even B. Andrews, his line of skin care products, all of it shines! Of course he does have super support with Brett and Maggie, his immediate family. They are a big part of his success. It makes my heart glow when I see my children being so well-nurtured and loved!

We had our small Christmas dinner in the home of our daughters, Monessa and Jaquetta, along with my brother and our three precious grandchildren, Nicolas, (9), Isabella (6), and Kai (3). What a sweet time we had together! I am so grateful for the way I see Source moving through their lives too! Monessa is radiant with health and awareness of ways to make a difference in the world around her. As a program producer for our local NPR station, she shares local stories of interest with our community, and is proactive in our community in the effort to bring the produce of local farmers into our local markets and eating establishments.

Jaquetta works for me. We’ve worked together for almost six years now! Words cannot express the gratitude I feel to be able to work so intimately with my own daughter! My new book came out in February launching a busy career time for us as we spread its message via seminars, workshops, and the Internet. Jaquetta is one member of the dynamite team that has come together to support the work we’re doing.

God has supplied me with the best team imaginable! I am humbled by the quality and capability of those who have come together to help me spread the word. My thanksgiving for them is beyond measure! The best thing about our team, in my opinion, is that they each believe and practice the guiding principles of Reality that I write about in my book, Guiding Principles for Life Beyond Victim Consciousness. I cannot express the amount of gratitude I feel in watching those around me take this work and apply it to their own lives! I am humbled and grateful for the miracles I’ve witnessed in the lives and families of those around me.

Our internet guru, Zack, and our marketing director, Danielle are among those I feel a special amount of gratitude for today. Closely following them in praise, is the group of supporters and willing contributors who have partnered with us in creating our new company, called REALignment Educational Project, LLC. This company was created for the sole purpose of educating and promoting the message I have been given the honor and privilege to share. We are a company that invites others to join with us to support our efforts through donations, and by becoming actual members! These are indeed exciting times.

My work, which I find increasingly difficult to separate from my personal life, is a God-given blessing in itself. I am brought to my knees in gratitude when I think about the tremendous honor I feel in having been given the opportunity to use my voice and words to share what for me has been life transforming. And, knowing me so well, Source gave me a life of diversity! I am so grateful!

I am grateful too for the tremendous pleasure of watching our children, one by one find their way to a better understanding of life. During the last year, several of our children have been involved in supporting the process I teach!  Can you imagine what a thrill it is to have one’s own family embrace the work one does? My heart is full indeed.

And of course, my precious husband, Daniel is my anchor and number one supporter. He is a vital part of our team, doing everything from property maintenance to staging events to financial planning and now he has even started providing childcare! He and our daughter, Brooke, are in charge of a program we are developing that teaches children the guiding principles of Reality. I am so grateful for Daniel’s willingness to join ranks with Brooke, who not only was raised with these principles (being our daughter!), but who also has experience and skills of her own to share from her work with kids as a summer camp counselor for nine years.

Together, Daniel and Brooke are finding ways to pass on to other parents and children an approach gleaned from Daniel’s profound experience and success at winning the confidence and cooperation of the kids he works with by teaching them self-responsibility.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and gladness for the opportunity I’ve been given to witness, and participate in a ‘Bigger Plan.’ It awes me whenever I see the plan unfolding so effectively and precisely in my own life and in the lives of those around me.

Weaving together the creative abilities and impressive skills of family members, Our Creator has taken us as a family, and turned us to use for His own perfect purposes. And our precious children, who are out in the world doing their own thing, are living lives full of heart and passion for life; they are living out their part of the ‘Bigger Plan.’ I am immensely grateful to be a part of this family!

Both of my siblings, David and Kathie have participated in seminars with me this past year, and have shown sincere enthusiasm for my work. I count on them to see me with a certain degree of levity for they do not hesitate to tell me what they “really think!” So there support is deeply meaningful, and I am delighted by it, and grateful.

Even health challenges have brought us gifts! I have witnessed beautiful examples among family members of dealing with serious health issues with grace and acceptance. I appreciate all the ways those around me inspire me to reach for a higher perspective. I love my family for what they teach me about myself and life.

There have been heartbreaks this past year as well – and even for those I am grateful, not because they happened, but for the gifts they brought forth. For all the many challenges we have faced, however, our family has received even more blessings, and I give sincere thanks for the continued well-being of each of my loved ones.

The Sabbath Day of Rest is something for which I have come to feel a deep appreciation this past year. Daniel and I spend the whole day every Sabbath with our daughter and grandchildren. We go to church together as a family where the children are exposed to an early orientation of looking up, rather than out at the world. Afterwards, we go out to eat somewhere (we take turns choosing where) and then we spend the afternoon enjoying some outdoor activity where we can all play like children. It’s a glorious time that I feel confident will be remembered by our grandchildren all their lives.

I am surprised in some ways, but deeply grateful that I have come back to my roots as a Southern Appalachian woman who garners comfort from the Bible. Christianity is my lineage altho I left it early in life to explore other resources. I have found much to my surprise and delight that the Bible verifies to me many of the ancient truths that I spent so many years discovering from other sources. To discover congruence where I was told I would not has been a wonderful boon to my life, and has brought me even closer to God. Truth is always true no matter its source. I love Christ, and his words, and merging them with my way of perceiving the world energetically works beautifully for me. I am grateful that I get to have my own personal relationship with Christ. We are each promised a relationship with Source that works for us! A blessing indeed!

I have discovered the literal truth of the Biblical verse, “God is Love,” in my life. I have come to understand love as the one true solvent for every illness, every predicament, and every hurt, be it emotional or physically caused. And sometimes love means to walk away, let it go, watch someone suffer the consequences of their choices, and trust that Source knows how to handle them better than I. Every time I release a loved one into the hands of Creator, I grow from seeing what can be accomplished when I get out of the way! What a relief! What a blessing NOT to have to be in charge!

I am grateful for all three hundred and sixty five times this past year that I spent connecting with Source in my morning practice. He starts my day, and the benefits from that have been incredible! It is there that I am reminded over and again to return to surrender and gratitude for my life as it is today. (I forget so easily!) My personal relationship with Christ is my greatest blessing, my greatest asset. From that connection comes everything I offer to the world. Anything good that comes through me is from that connection while the blundering and awkward stumbling is all mine.

The best part of our life journey for me is during those times when I remember from whence it all comes. Remembering that central fact allows us to consciously open to the flow of our Creator. I believe that this is the true secret of life, don’t you?

There is one last blessing I want to mention here this morning and that is my gratitude for you! You are among the sparkling jewels in my life; your presence, whether physical or over the ethers of the internet, nourishes and inspires me in some way, and I want you to know that I notice, and send prayers of gratitude for you often.

My hope is that you found yourself reflecting on your own blessings from the past year as you read this. Whatever time of year it is, it is always a good time to count our blessings.

Thanks for sharing with me in a celebration of my blessings.

Merry Christmas,

Lynne

 

 

Why was I born into a dysfunctional family?

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It is not by accident that we are born into our particular family. I believe that each of us is born into a family that uniquely matches our own vibrational frequency at the time of our birth – not because we are being punished, not to pay back some old karmic debt necessarily, but because that family holds the set of challenges we need to experience for us t0 access a higher level of  understanding. In other words, our family’s are designed to help us evolve! Yes, even, and most especially, the particularly dysfunctional ones.

In a nutshell, we come into the family we do to learn the lessons that particular family brings us. And sometimes those lessons are tough ones.

What could one possibly learn from being born into an abusive family? A lot! As incomprehensible as it may seem, even our most unenlightened, abusive families, play a designated role in evolving us spiritually. Reality shows us many examples of how dysfunctional family systems can indeed serve a higher purpose. The reality is that some of our greatest leaders, teachers, researchers, and healers come from just such dysfunctional families.

Most often it is through the personal struggles that these outstanding individuals experienced while growing up in extreme circumstances that later led them to their life-calling. Their difficult childhoods are often what prompted them to radically shift the way they understood life, and thereby made a whole new way of seeing possible.

Might it be just as possible that each one of us is uniquely set up in a family environment that is especially arranged to provide us with the challenges and life-lessons necessary to further the direction of our life path? I like to think so. I have a hypothesis, it is this: we come into this life on a particular vibrational frequency which energetically attracts to us a matching frequency. We are energy beings, after all.

I am not saying we consciously choose our family; it is not a conscious decision-making process that delivers us into the family we find ourselves in. We don’t choose to be in a certain family because we are gluttons for suffering, for instance! No, the kind of attraction I speak of here has more to do with the magnetic nature of life that draws us to a particular family set-up – much like the way metal filings are attracted to a magnet.

I am speaking of the way energy moves and responds to vibration through patterns – it’s a perspective that says that where we end up in life has nothing to do with what we “deserve,” or with what is “fair” or “unfair,” – where we land is based on a vibrational frequency, and the pattern that is formed by the energy that is traveling on that frequency. The family we come into is not about our quality of being, but about the vibrational frequency of the pathway we are traveling on at the time of our birth.

This idea of our “choice” of a family being a magnetic attraction precludes the possibility of our coming into a family ‘accidentally,’ or ‘coincidentally.’ No, if this hypothesis is accurate, then we can only land in the family that matches the energetic frequency of our own belief system.

The Veda’s teach that the mind-set of a person when they die determines the circumstances they are born into in their next incarnation. Such an idea suggests that if our emotional frequency is fear-based, we are more likely to land in a family ruled by fear and intimidation. If we are governed by a kinder, higher frequency, we will birth into a higher frequency family. What we can hypothesize however, is that we will be born into the family that will provide the lessons that will further us most, and not necessarily, for love, peace, or joy – sake! We come into the family we do because their belief system resonates with our vibrational frequency and thus allows us the opportunity to explore limiting beliefs that have hindered us from realizing a more positive life expression.

When we look at how we came to be in our particular family from such a standpoint it allows us to better align with Reality. We can more easily trust that whatever life is, it is happening for us, rather than to, at, or against us. This means that even the seeming worst things we meet in life are no coincidence, but do in fact, serve to reflect the limiting beliefs that hold us prisoner, for the purpose of liberating ourselves from those  painful beliefs.

Again, what we attract has nothing to do with what we may desperately want, or aspire towards, and everything to do with what we expect from life. We harvest in life the consequences of that which we believe is possible, or not possible, for us.

Understanding that simple truth allows us to begin to move away from seeing ourselves, or others, as victims of an unfair, cruel, or even sadistically-twisted family life. When we see ourselves as a victim on any level it produces great pain and sadly limits our life expression – to see ourselves as being irreparably damaged by our life circumstances, for instance, (a view I held of myself for a long time!) in my opinion, causes far worse damage than whatever abuse we may have endured.

Why? Think about it for a moment – who do we become, how do we respond to life, when we believe we are permanently damaged by life circumstances? How does it affect the way we live, and interact with others when we believe we’ve been dropped haphazardly into a family that abuses us? How does such a belief color our opinion of ourselves, our belief in our chances in life, our future possibilities, or our trust in others? How does it affect our ability to succeed in life when we see ourselves as damaged victims of abuse?

For clarity-sake, I am not suggesting that we make excuses for the abusive ways of our family, or that we deny what happened to us or that we discount our feelings about it. I am simply saying that by bringing an energetic understanding of how these things happen to our perspective, we feel less victim, more empowered, and we find we are in a position that better empowers us.

I’ve found that a sense of  inner empowerment and peace comes from accepting Reality as not only being what it is, but that it is that way for us -in other words there’s a good reason!  There are no coincidences; every single painful thing that we experience in life can be used to further us. It is up to us and how we see those painful events, more than the events themselves, that determine whether we will be served or destroyed by them. The reality is that all things CAN work for our highest good, even our dysfunctional, abusive family dynamics can serve to empower and refine us!

Blessings, Lynne

Defending Our Right To Feel Bad …

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tired and without
Creative Commons License photo credit: gogoloopie

I recently had a conversation with a loved one who was bemoaning her present life circumstances. She spoke about how hard life was for her family right now, and about how life had put SOOOOO much on her plate, that it felt unbearable at times, like it was all just too much.

She then proceeded to list all the “hard stuff” that life was “forcing her” to deal with. Her list was indeed daunting; there were pressing health and financial issues, as well as difficult family dynamics mentioned, and the more she talked about it, the sadder she became. Soon she was crying softly.

I listened quietly … hearing plainly the pain that comes from believing our own self-punishing thoughts, and aware too, of the abundance of victim language in her speech. My heart went out to her, and yet I was hesitant in my response, wondering how best to support her towards a higher frequency, and simultaneously thinking how tricky it can be at times to connect with someone we are close to from a place that does not come across as superior, or above it all.

It can sometimes feel like walking through a loaded minefield (mind-field) when we are conversing with a loved one who is unconscious in that moment of just how mired in victim consciousness they are. (Remember we ALL move in and out of victim consciousness throughout any given day – so I don’t mean to imply that it never happens to me!) Perhaps the biggest danger in finding our way through this mental minefield is that we run the risk of becoming part of the explosive minefield ourselves!

When we have a personal history with someone especially, it can be tricky indeed to stay grounded in Reality, especially when, in that moment, they are not! The mind automatically wants to take us “back there” (to the childhood drama we played out as children) and so we automatically act as if we are still back there, thus relentlessly playing-out our old, tired, and limiting stories on each other, over and again.

This makes for unhappy trekking indeed!

Even though this particular family member happens to be someone who I consider to be fairly well-versed in, and sincere about practicing, the principles of consciousness, it’s still pretty tricky, perhaps even because of her knowledge of consciousness work.

The danger is that in sharing feedback with her she might feel insulted by any insinuation that she is in victim consciousness, triggering an immediate defensive reaction in her and justifying a need for denial!

Such defensive reaction occurs frequently when one is in victim consciousness, and my family member’s words had already conveyed how deeply unhappy she was with her life (herself) so to hear someone insinuate that she might be in victim feels to be a huge insult! Why? Because it induces a huge shame attack — after all, she “should know better, she “should be further along than that.” Now the humiliation is even more pronounced. To think that she should be ‘outed’ as being caught up in victim consciousness is the ultimate indicator of failure to a self in distress.

And sure enough, just about the time I was thinking these sorts of thoughts, my loved one did indeed appear to get triggered by something I said (I do not remember what I said exactly, but I bet SHE does! ;))

Whatever it was she heard, it was apparently enough to justify her need, and indeed obligation, to defend her own level of consciousness, because she proceeded to launch into an all-out defense of her right to feel bad. (Oh my, do I ever know that one! ;))

She said things like, “I know people (was she insinuating me, perhaps?) think I am having such a hard life because I made wrong choices, that I didn’t do it right, and that that’s why I have all these problems, but … etc … etc. ” She proceeded to defend the choices she had made that had landed her where she is in life now, and then went on to say, “I know these things happen for a reason … I see the reasons, I’ve done my work and I understand these things are meant to be, and I know I will be fine. I will fight my way through this …” – and then she began to defend her right to feel bad in earnest – “… but still, these things hurt me and I have the right to feel my feelings about them. I love myself enough to allow myself to feel the pain about the hard things that life has put on my plate.”

But here is what seemed only too plain to me: It was plain to me that her pain was NOT caused by “the hard things life had put on her plate,” (who is this “life” that puts hard things on our plate, anyway?!) but was instead caused by the relentless negative judgment she was aiming at herself for having these hard things on her plate at all! SHE appeared to be the one, in my opinion, who was believing that she blew it! It was her OWN judgment of herself, her self-condemnation, that had her believing life is hard because she had “failed at life.”

This idea of letting ourselves feel our feelings as being a way to be kind to ourselves makes no sense to me these days. (yes, I admit there was a time when I thought similarly.) When the feelings I am feeling are created by my own self-punishing thoughts, by my own low opinions of myself, by my choices, and by my own self-condemnation for where I am in life, how can it be loving to me to “just let myself sit in such feelings?”

It seems much kinder to me to question any thought that generates such painful feelings and re-frame those unkind beliefs into a kinder perception of myself, my life, and my choices, so that I can feel more loving and accepting of myself!

But I do indeed recognize this place on the path! This place of thinking that the words, “nothing happens by coincidence,” means that when life is hard it’s because of my own failures.

Try this exercise: Look back on your own life to a particular “choice-point,” a time when you made a decision that had direct impact on where you are now, and ask yourself this question:
Could I have made any other choice than the one I made at that time? Seriously, considering the circumstances of that time, and my own state of consciousness at the time, could I have done it any other way, really?

If the answer is no, (and how can it be otherwise, for why else would you have made that choice?) then how could where you are now be any different than what it is now?

Can you see that where you are right now, no matter your opinion of where that is, (it’s all story anyway :)), is where you must be right now to make your own limiting beliefs visible?

But if instead you go on berating yourself for where you are in life, then how are you ever going to make different choices?

We must forgive ourselves for being imperfect, for being where we are, and immediately when we do, we begin to see more clearly so that we can make higher frequency choices that set us on a more self-fulfilling life path.

The simple truth is this: our life circumstances, including all of our relationships, are the way they are to show us our PRESENT belief system. Any degree of resistance we feel towards our life circumstances reflect to us where we are out of harmony with ourselves. Our painful feelings are about that disharmony with ourself and are NEVER the result of our external difficulties.

May we become increasingly loving and self-forgiving, and in that way melt away all sense of a difficult life.

Blessings,

Lynne

 

 

 

 

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