Victory Over Victim: Giving Up the “I Give Up” Mindset

photo credit: alicepopkorn ( in and out ) “I give up” is an insidious mind set that robs us of life on every front. Instead of claiming victory for our lives, this mind set establishes us as losers who settle for scarcity, poor health and unhappy circumstances. I’ve worked with clients who started giving up on life as children, inch by inch, so that by

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Setting Boundaries or Delivering Ultimatums?

photo credit: glockkid What’s the difference between setting boundaries and giving ultimatums? Often we believe that setting boundaries requires ultimatums. In reality, ultimatums are most often about wanting (or feeling the need) to control someone else’s behavior or attitude, often, “for their own good.” Setting boundaries, on the other hand, is about taking care of ourselves. Our job is to clarify one from the other.

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“Carried Feelings” or “Inherited Story?”

photo credit: Daquella manera Often in therapeutic circles we speak of “carried feelings,” a concept that refers to how clients appear to carry the unresolved feelings of one of their family members. For example, we may say that someone is “carrying” their dad’s anger or their mother’s sadness. I have often seen evidence of this sort of emotional transference. But upon closer examination, I have

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Thoughts/Feelings are “Contagious”

photo credit: D.C.Atty Empathy refers to the ability to relate to the feelings of another. Those of us who experience the thoughts and feelings of those around us are said to be “empathetic.” We are called “empaths.” This ability to pick up on the feelings of others is something that we do automatically. We “catch” the thought/feeling “stream” of another and experience it in our

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Talking ourselves out of our feelings …

photo credit: photomequickbooth I don’t think it works, nor is it helpful, to talk ourselves out of our feelings! Feelings are never “bad” or “wrong!” They simply report our “vibrational frequency.” Feelings inform us of our present emotional state or “mood.” With that information we can then decide if we need to initiate, what I call, a “frequency adjustment.” This means we follow the feeling

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