Gratitude Dispels Fear …

photo credit: jakub_hla I was tossing and turning during the wee hours of the night a while back. (I’ve found that the early AM hours are the time when the ego does its worst work.) This sort of sleeplessness has assailed me before. I awaken abruptly and lie there for hours completely overrun with thoughts like, “what if this happens or what if that doesn’t

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How Do We Find Inner Peace in the Midst of World Tragedy?

I’ve been asked to say something about the shocking events of the school shooting tragedy in Connecticut this past week where at least 27 people died at the hands of an immature child, albeit in a man’s body. How can we perceive the tragedy in Connecticut in a way that brings anything but terror and outrage, much less be able to explain it to our

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What does it mean to set boundaries?

Healthy boundaries are not  as much about drawing lines in the sand that then must be boldly defended, as they are the natural result of a mindset that comes from believing that we are safe, loved, and deserving of kindness and respect. If we expect to be mistreated, perhaps because that’s what we have experienced in the past, we will react defensively, which often comes

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Finding the Gifts in Dysfunction

Sometimes there is concern expressed that we might actually mislead or make matters worse by looking for the gifts in every situation, especially when we’re seeking the positives in painful relationships with those who may NOT have our best interest in mind.  The concern is that seeking to find gratitude for such situations in our lives might mislead us into rationalizing and/or denying injustice and abuse

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But There Are REAL Victims …

I often am asked questions about how the guiding principles apply in the case of truly traumatic life happenings, such as the holocaust, etc … Or as one student put it, “How does the construct  of a transformational approach to the “victim triangle” address and apply in situations of such severity ? I always appreciate the opportunity to expand on this important issue because it is one

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