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The Cost of Defense Created Resistance

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We have a choice. We can either live in our defenses and there are so many forms and types of defense mechanisms… OR we can opt for peace.

Recently I got the opportunity to experience being on the receiving end of a verbal wall of defenses resorted to by a friend in protective mode. Later he admitted feeling “exposed” as being “wrong” about something, which then triggered an automatic need to defend in an effort to protect himself from being found wrong. It became obvious, when we processed, that these verbal defenses had been a default position since childhood, used to counter the attack he was sure was inevitable were he to admit his culpability and/or vulnerability.  For to be found mistaken or wrong is to be seen as weak, inadequate, or inferior, which the fragile victim ego does not take lightly.

His defenses sounded something like this:

“I didn't mean to: get in your way … say that … do that,  etc.” (proclaiming innocence)

OR

“I was just kidding … I didn't mean what I said,” I wasn't doing that … I would never do that, I'm not like that…”  etc… (denial)

Taking responsibility for ourselves has an altogether different emotional tone AND sounds very different. It offers a much kinder way of treating oneself – and others; it opens the way to a radically different level of acceptance and surrender.

Taking self-responsibility might sound something more like this: “Thank you for the feedback … I appreciate it.” “Yes, I see how defended I am right now.” “WOW, wonder what I am believing to be so triggered?”  “How can I see this situation in a more positive light?” “Thank you for pointing my defenses out to me; it will help me respond differently in the future.”

The important thing to know is that neither of these options are wrong, even though one type of response is certainly more mature than the other. The path of Awakening means we become conscious of the ways we hide from ourselves and the world, and we take direct action to align with a higher Truth, which is recognized by the compassion, kindness, and acceptance it generates in our system.

But our defenses also serve a purpose, for they point out to us where it is we are holding ourselves prisoners in shame, like for instance, anytime we believe we are being found out for having made a mistake. We fear being found out as wrong because on some level we have bought the notion that being right will somehow save us from shame and pain. This reflects the mind set of us as children. Frankly it remains where most of the world remains today regardless of their age.

So we can live in our fears and defenses, or we can choose to practice accepting ourselves as bumbling-fumbling, mistake-making, problem-finding and blaming, HUMAN beings. We can make room for forgiving ourselves for our human imperfections, even as we forgive those around us when they bumble along in their imperfect, often wrong, judgmental (like us)  and seemingly vulnerable humanity.

It's not perfect, but it is indeed a much kinder, more peaceful way to live.

 

 

 

When we resist and “push against” the other …

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“The Law of Polarity: The Law of Polarity: All things are made up of two identical, but opposite parts, or principles: the dark and the light, the masculine and the feminine, etc. Everything that is created is made up of an equal and opposite set of polarities. This is how movement or progress happens.” 

We resist the law of polarity/duality most through maintaining consistent attachment to our one sided opinions, viewpoints and bias’s, and assigning the label, “bad,” “wrong,” “inferior,” etc. to the things in life that do not concur with us.

We get stuck to our side of the page (our side of the see-saw) and dismiss immediately anything that reeks of “otherness.” We  judge those who do not live “over here” with us… This is what human minds do.

The human mind is made to resist and deny its all powerful, authentic other half which is our Essential Being; which is a priori, and the eternal self that sees all things as “both (the thing) and” (its opposite). In the Authentic Mind there is no “either or…”; it is a state of unity consciousness that sees both the light and its shadow as being equal parts of the whole. and therefore both necessary (but opposite) for expansion to be possible.

We evolve through the back and forth push between the many pairs of opposites our lives consist of  … This is not a problem; it is a design of our organism – and it serves a purpose. This push back and forth between opposites does its’  job – which is to bring us lessons, growth opportunities, and wonderful invitations to expand  our consciousness.  This motion is required for evolution of consciousness to take place.

“Observing” (without criticism and blame) ourselves in “pushback” allows us to explore the other side as a way of rocking the two polarities back and forth – towards the Center where a moving sort of rocking balance between the two  can be experienced … We call this being “centered.” Aligning with center through this back and forth process is how we say yes to the invitation of growing our consciousness.

Let go of the need to make the other side wrong – and your own right … Look instead for how it serves you – and the collective – Even through pain and conflict, victory can be had. 🙏🏻

 

Tips for Steadying Your Emotional Vibrational Frequency

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Dear Friends and Readers,

The following post is one that is part of my Weekly Message Series on Victim Consciousness that people have been signing up for and receiving for the last 10 years. It is rare that I share any of these messages outside of the Weekly Series, but this one seemed so relevant and important to our times, that I decided to make an exception and share it with you here. May it be helpful for you in finding peace amidst the turbulent times. Blessings,

I hope you are getting better and better at holding your emotional vibration in a steady state of peace and acceptance using the tools you are learning.

Maintaining Observer Consciousness does take a strong desire for harmony along with a commitment to practice it.

As I've written many times before, Observer Consciousness is the antidote for Victim Consciousness.

It is a state of consciousness that assumes one hundred percent self-responsibility for the condition of our mental/emotional state.

Observer consciousness is a state of being that refuses to give anyone, and certainly not those who have acted abusively toward us, the power to determine our emotional well-being or to decide the quality of our life.

Observer consciousness is activated and strengthened in various ways.

I've mentioned many of these ways in times past – but for clarity's sake, let's go through a list of the various ways to access Observer Consciousness here now.

We activate Observer Consciousness in the following ways:

By listening carefully to our language when we speak about others, or interact with them, and noticing when we use victim vocabulary.

By noticing when we act defensively or react negatively.

By applying universal guiding principles to any and all situations.

By asking ourselves direct questions about what we think, especially when our thoughts create negative feelings.

Click on the link for an example of questioning a negative thought using Byron Katie's “Four Questions and Turn Arounds”

By asking such questions as:

    • Who am I giving responsibility for my state of well-being in this moment?
    • Who am I blaming?
    • When I believe these negative thoughts, how do I act?
    • Toward myself? Toward others?
    • What other ways of seeing this situation are possible?
    • When I insist on seeing it in a way that creates unhappiness, who am I hurting?
    • What way of seeing provides me the highest frequency viewpoint of myself and the other?
    • What examples do I have that verify it as true?

By identifying where we are on the victim triangle when we are unhappy with someone. Remember, all dysfunctional interaction takes place on the victim triangle and taking responsibility for that part.

By taking time daily to ground and align with Source so to set our day for the best possible results.

By refusing to settle for a perception that blames something outside ourselves for our unhappiness, insisting instead on seeking until we find the gift being offered us, and seeing every situation as simply another opportunity to expand our consciousness.

Next week, I will begin to give examples of some of these and share the gifts that come from their practice.

Blessings,

Lynne

As always we love your feedback, and we may choose to share it with other subscribers. For the purpose of discretion, we will only use your name or other identifiers, with your permission. Send your questions and comments to info@lynneforrest.com.

If you’re ready to take the next step, be sure to check out Reality Formula Live.

For more about Lynne, her work, and her offerings, visit www.LynneForrest.com

Coronavirus: When FEAR Rules …

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“What we focus on expands…” This is a universal law that is easily observable… When we focus on the positive we experience growing positive results, and the opposite is also true:when we focus on the negative, negative results expand.

We can apply this universal principle in all things, including in relation to fear, a state of being that is rampant right now in the world, and especially in relation to the coronavirus.

Even to say the word, ”coronavirus” can generate an increased fear response along with all of the aftereffects that go with it.

(Learn more about the effects of fear on our health:

https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/impact-fear-and-anxiety )

Metaphysical laws, such as the law of expansion mentioned above are outlined in the Guiding Principles of Reality, (https://wp.me/p20bss-29G) which are most helpful in knowing how best to deal with the fear that arises as we deal with the Coronovirus for the fear of the virus creates its own set of concerns.

It could be that to dissipate the fear might be a real step in controlling the virus.

However this does not mean that we are to deny the existence of the virus. Not at all.  Nor can we easily discard all thought of the virus. Besides, whether we visualize worse-case scenarios in our mind, or refuse to acknowledge it at all, we are still focused upon it, which means we are indulging the fear and thereby feeding it. For denial is just another form of resistance and what we resist persists, It is universal law.

However there is a state of consciousness we can and DO want to cultivate that is, in my opinion, most helpful and even preventative. And that is to redirect our thoughts and our focus towards cultivating an attitude of wellness instead.

Instead of indulging or denying our fears,  we learn to allow the latest news of the virus to motivate us to take better care of ourselves – not from a place of fear, but from an increased desire to galvanize positive action towards greater health.

We consciously cultivate a habit of thinking more positive, affirming thoughts, and conscientiously shift our attention away from dwelling on negative, fear-based thoughts.

We look for ways to strengthen our emotional immunity and enhance our relationship with beliefs and ideas that encourage us towards inner peace.

We let our desire for radiant health motivate us to start our days with an attitude of appreciation rather than with fear, knowing that doing so is a prerequisite for good health.

We align with Reality and decide to trust our path to be exactly what it needs to be, rather than trying to control the outcomes of life.

We start by affirming our present state of health, and giving thanks for our well-being. We celebrate how blessed we are to be feeling any semblance of “good” at all.

Along with these things, we indulge in activities that enhance our wellness. In other words, we cultivate ways to feel better, like reaching for the next best feeling thought, for instance.

We look for ways to enjoy life in a myriad of little ways, like savoring a good cup of tea, reading a favorite book, or chatting about joyful things with a friend.

We consistently practice cultivating the habits and rituals that help us feel better, like drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, and partaking of the foods and supplements that WE believe work for us.

It is worth mentioning perhaps that it is not as much about finding the right supplements (diet, self-care habits and rituals),  as it is that we BELIEVE in the things we are doing as being health. We’ve all heard of the “placebo effect” (Dr Joe Dispensa wrote a book on the power of believing ourselves well,  “You Are The Placebo). It appears that believing that what we are doing works for us has amazing power to make it so.

The point I am making here is that arguably the most important protection and prevention from illness is our attitude about it.

Remember, the Reality Formula says: “when we believe a thing, we feel and act in ways that prove it to be true. So, by all means, cultivate BELIEF in your immunity, and you are more likely to prove it so. We can strengthen our emotional immunity by encouraging the beliefs and ideas that leave us feeling stronger and healthier.

Rather than resist the reality of what is, we learn to align with reality instead. Part of that is to make the decision to trust our path to be exactly what it needs to be, rather than trying to control outcomes of what is.

Another good way to build a positive attitude of health is to start every day with some form of meditation. According to latest research, meditation (of all kinds) allows us to not only quieten our chaotic thoughts, but to strengthen the health of both body and mind.

Dr Lissa Rankin, M.D., in her book titled, “”You Can Heal Yourself,” says the following about the benefits of meditation: “All forms of meditation, to some degree, activates the parasympathetic nervous system, decreases stress related cortisol, reduces respiration and heart rate, reduces the metabolic rate, increases blood flow in the brain, increases activity in the left prefrontal cortex (observed in happier people), strengthens the immune system, and leads to a state of relaxation.”

Rather than to try and resist fear, merely cultivate its opposite through regular meditation.

To sum up what I am saying here; I believe that fear sets us up to be vulnerable to such things as viral epidemics. To be afraid of our fear, however, is another way of feeding it.

Instead of resisting fear, appreciate instead whatever degree of health you currently have. (Remember to focus on what you want to feel more of!)

Celebrate your current state of well-being and proclaim it as your truth, and so it shall be.

Leading A Life Of Demonstration and Verification

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I grew up surrounded by esoteric, metaphysical concepts where often the spiritual journey was referred to as a path of “verification.”  I have since come to see the truth that, indeed, whether we know it or not, we are all of us living a life where we demonstrate and verify our beliefs – whatever those are. As a result, I've decided that this is, in fact, exactly why we are here; i.e., we are here on Planet Earth to play out in three dimensional form that which we believe. According to the universal principle I refer to as the Reality Formula®️ we each manifest our own reality like this: we believe what we think, we automatically feel and act as if what we believe is true … and in doing so we transmit an emotional vibe that attracts to us the evidence that proves us (often miserably) right.

Whether we are blindly proving our unhappy beliefs (only to then point the finger of blame at the world as if IT is the cause, and we but hapless victims)  or we learn to consciously apply universal principles like the Reality Formula®️ to c0-create the life of our dreams and desire. Usually we do some of both…

I have come to the conclusion that we are here on planet Earth, not to succeed in terms of wealth, fame, or even good deeds necessarily; but we come instead, each and every one of us, to take the journey that our beliefs dictate, to walk the path that will over and again prove to ourselves – and the world around us – that we are indeed who we believe ourselves to be – no matter how painful that self-concept may be. And guess what? We are very good at it! As a matter of fact, I think we can safely say that we are 100% successful at proving ourselves right because we are experts at gathering evidence that verifies our belief system on the ground, no matter what those beliefs are.

My life, like that of all humans, is full of contrast, challenge, and often sometimes outright opposition. I have come to the conclusion, after years of working deeply with my own process and that of other people's process, that life must have painful times of dark contrast because, without them, we would never be able to see the truth and light of who we really are.

Who are we really? I have come to see that the truth about our essential nature is that we are extensions of the Total Source of Cosmic, Divine Flow that is made of Consciousness, Vitality, Desire, Curiosity, and Pure Aliveness – Our inner strength is indomitable, if we but knew it. We are both the Lover and the Beloved, made of cosmic stuff, a divine spark projected out into the world from the One Living Integlligence of THAT I AM for the purpose of experiencing and expressing Love.

AND … then there is the other part of us – the one we most identify with and often refer to as “me”; the part of us that we feel is less than, unworthy, inadequate, and often at the mercy of an unfair world. It is the unloved child story of a self that was born out of the lineage of our family belief system that we grew up in. We become the bad girl/boy, the failure, the inept who is undeserving, blundering, selfish, uncaring blah blah … or we become the one who is fated to save the family by sacrificing our own needs, or we take on a story of ourselves as being some sort of hero or failed hero, etc. etc. Whatever limited unhappy story we take on as our own, determines the unhappy feelings, the rage, angst, inferiority, lack and fear that we project into the world and live out as if it is fact.

But the truth is that we are not one or the other of these two polar opposite selves; in actuality we live both out at different times, maybe moments apart, and how we feel in this moment depends on which of these selves we are presently focused upom.

Will the real me stand up? The real me is not the unhappy self of lack and worthlessness … ever! That one is totally a mind-made illusion, but when we focus on it, believe it, and feel it, we will play the part so well that we will convince ourselves and the world around us that it is the true version of  my “self.” When we believe in something wholeheartedly, we breathe life into it. By investing belief and emotional energy into a thought, be it positive or negative, it becomes a thing, and therefore “verifiable.”

So we have two selves. This is the way it is for a reason – there is purpose in this design of things. It is intended that we have these two conflicting selves that are polar opposite. All humans have these two aspects. It is not something born out of “dysfunction,” although one could call it “dysfunctional by design.” The truth is that we all have these two selves, it is required for being an incarnate on Planet Earth. For, as Light beings, we can only manifest in physical form by separating from the Light of our True Being, and taking on the contrastng shadow to the light. We come into being through the illusion of separation which generates fear, this is the shadow we must become to experience ourselves in contrast to our true nature. As Light Beings, we cannot stand in the midst of light and be seen. Light requires darkness to be visible. If we are all good, all Love and Light we are one with Light. In other words, we had to forget our Divine Nature and go into the shadow to have this human experience. We each have these two distinctly opposite voices within us.

I am talking about the sort of dark that feeling “less than” produces,  or like the fearful dark … or the sort of dense darkness that goes with feeling unacceptable, unlovable, undeserving, or bad. And once we identify with darkness as being who we are, we fall for the story that we have built about being this mind-made dark self, and believe it to be who we are in totality. We all fall for the lie of separation; it is a requirement for taking this powerful journey of remembering, reframing, and returning home …

Falling for the inferior story of who we believe ourselves to be does not make us wrong, inferior, or damaged. It is imperative that we believe these stories of separation (even if they are painful) that are handed down to us from past generations and lived out right in front of us from birth  up.  How else are we going to see what it is we believe and realize the power of believing? there is another choice… how else are we going to discover that we can choose to believe something different? After all, it is not what happens in our families and in our family-of-origin that damage us, but the shame and secrecy we harbor around those things that turn it into dysfunction!

What if instead of judging ourselves for where we come from we were to look for the part we play in attracting these happenings into our life?  What if, instead of making it a problem, we ask ourselves, what part of us is being reflected through this event, encounter, or circumstance? What if we used every single moment as an opportunity to either celebrate and appreciate, or investigate and refine?

And what if we were to meet our life happenings in a way that invites curiosity and exploration, instead of using them as evidence of the terrible stories we carry from the past? What if we all understood that we came to take this wild ride of creating a life of contrast as a way to learn how to use the consciousness making tools we were born with to awaken and remember who we are as co-creators, instead of victims of circumstance.

We live in a world of duality and we either make peace with that, understanding it to be the essential way of things, or we choose a side to be on, making it right, and the way it, (me, you, life)  “should” be, which immediately means the opposite must now be made “wrong,” or “bad.”  The reality is that there cannot be a manifest world without the blessing of polarity. (think north and south pole, for instance.)

We too, consist of these polarized selves. Interestingly most of us unconsciously adopt the self of contrast to be the one we identify with and call “me.”

But like all opposites, these two polarized selves within us create a push-pull sort of energy between them that drives us around a cycle, or wheel, that takes us up and down, even as we progress forward … the good news is that we ARE going somewhere. 🙂 And the more awake we are, the more we consciously participate in the process of realizing and integrating these two voices within us into two sides of one Self, like the yin/yang of being.

But sometimes, it feels more like the “see-saw of polar extremity” where we bounce from a mountain top high to the bottom of the swamp, making it important to remember that accelerated consciousness can lead to more rapid, and increased laps around the wheel, with the downs on the wheel being equal and opposite to the ups and vice-versa.

I have struggled with a story of lack and being undeserving for a long time. I brought these  limiting, painful stories into consciousness many years ago … and have peeled away layers upon layers as I rode the ups and downs on the wheel, going from remembering who I truly am (every morning during my daily practice) and falling for the story I was scripted for through my family lineage. Over the years, I stopped protesting and resisting the limited version so much, and came to use it more consciously to find and reframe the stories that stood in the way of my remembering my true and essential being.

It has been most interesting for me to notice that my awakening process has not gotten rid of the unhappy stories that take me down under the wheel, as much as it has worked to speed up my revolutions around the wheel. It seems that the more I grow in consciousness around a certain pattern, the sooner I find myself descending into an experience that brings me face to face with some newly realized aspect of that very uncomfortable pattern.

I go down under the wheel, triggered by a limited belief, see it, feel it, and then turn it around which sends me back to the top of the mountain, where I barely get time to rejoice and celebrate before I've been triggered again and plunge to the bottom again. The faster I evolve, the quicker I churn through …  and the faster the wheel turns ….  sometimes I revolve up to the highs of mountain top realization only to plummet the next day even deeper into the lows of fear and angst. It seems to me that perhaps the limited, debilitating belief systems that have ruled us since our earth arrival don't go down without a fight!

Perhaps like most things on their way out, our belief systems too, may blaze up and be the biggest just before they disappear.

For instance, my daughter and I have been struggling to keep the Work afloat financially, we have always had limited assets and minimal help in getting it all done  …  and it has become increasingly difficult to generate enough return to match our required outgo. And on the opposite extreme, we also get so much wonderful feedback on the Work we put out there from those whose lives are changing dramatically for the better from the Work we put out there – much of it free of charge. The Work is growing, as we keep being reminded by those who have been part of our essential support. We agree that our work is needed and appreciated and destined to grow and expand …

I notice how I ride up and down, going from using the lack of what is to prove my old beliefs that I did it wrong, that I am a failure, etc… and to fall into the feelings that go with believing these lies to remembering all of the ways we are so beautifully taken care of.

It took years for me to realize that I am not a failure because I am not wealthy. I believed it and felt ashamed and less than. In my eyes it meant I was not successful. It's only been in recent times, that I have come to understand that my life interest has never been about demonstrating wealth and abundance in things … mine has been about realizing how abundantly I am taken care of by the Universal Forces that have and my back. Living in demonstration of trusting the Divine to provide for me has taken me to scary places … and my faith has wavered so many times, and I have used these close calls to verify both my unworthiness (when at the bottom of the wheel) and to verify the principles when I am miraculously rescued over and again by some last minute miracle!

I have learned so much about how essential it is for me to be open to receive the abundance that the Universe promises and that I have experienced so often. I have come to see that I am always immediately taken care of as soon as my attitude of allowing returns. Knowing that to be the secret to living in abundance keeps me strongly motivated to cultivate a practice that encourages me to surrender whatever resistance I hold that is keeping abundance at bay.

Recently I have been spending prolonged periods of time in meditation focused on aligning with the heart through appreciating nature and the night heavens.

When I first got to the park where I like to do yoga and meditate in nature, there was a homeless man sound asleep on the ground… his face looked so childlike and innocent that I imagined running my hands through his hair and soothing his brow like one would do for a small child. I felt warm and open … What part of me do you think I was aligned with in that moment?

I did my walk around the park lake  and then when I got ready to lay down my yoga mat to meditate I picked a spot but then suddenly remembered the homeless man sleeping close by … suddenly my fear mind took over … and I found myself thinking it might not be safe to lie down, and close my eyes while someone who might be desperate was near by … What part of me thought those thoughts, do you think?

I realized what had happened … how I had gone from the essential being part of me who sees the world throught the eyes of love in contrast to the ego part of me that constantly thinks like a victim from a fear based state of mind. And seeing that, I chose to focus on love …  and so I laid my yoga mat down and did my practice and by the time I closed my eyes to meditate all signs of fear had dissipated and I dropped into an amazing space of connection …

In lying there, experiencing my love for the Mother Earth from the tiny space in my heart from whence comes my connection to the Universe I was able to notice that I could actually call the breezes to stir over me, and bid the sun to radiate its warmth upon my face at will … I lay there doing exactly that again and again. as I moved back and forth between feeling the nurturing breezes of the earths caress, and the penetrating warmth of the Sun's love. Again, it is so amazing to experience the Universe respond when we call on it from a place of surrender and belief.

I came back up aware that in the same way that I called upon and received kisses from the sun and breeze that played on my skin, in that same way, I can call upon the Universe to bring me abundence and supply… and all I need to do is to believe it so. And I do.

And so, from a space of appreciation, we share a request to those of you who have been helped or touched by the Work we have put out there over the years to make a contribution to the Work so that we might continue to share with you freely all that we do.

Here is a list of what we make available free of charge:

 

Weekly messages for identifying and moving beyond victim consciousness

The Lemonade Series: a free youtube channel where we post examples of how to turn life challenges into  blessings. …

My blog with over 600 plus informational posts on victim consciousness and the spiritual life beyond.  Lynneforrest.com/blog

 

 

 

 

 

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