The Benefits of Victim Consciousness

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Nov 18
Creative Commons License photo credit: phoenix wolf-ray

YES! There are payoffs to living in victim consciousness. We would not hold onto a victim way of seeing the world if there were not perceived benefits in it for us. Until we make those conscious there will most likely be no real motivation to change.

For instance, living in victim alleviates the need for personal responsibility. As long as we see ourselves as victims, we can blame others for the undesirable outcomes in our lives. Also, living in victim is a way of maintaining connection with others (particularly rescuers) so that we feel taken care of (victims tend to believe that when others feel sorry for them it means they care, so they will say & do things to evoke that response.) Convincing others that we are a victim is a way of getting things done for us that we don't feel able or willing to do for ourselves. (“I can't … will you do it for me?”) Getting time and attention from others is one of the big reasons we hold onto victim consciousness. Sharing our victim stories (telling others about how hard our life is and/or about how badly we've been mistreated) may be the only way we know to communicate or to be in relationship.

Victim consciousness is a prevalent, pervasive addiction. It can be transcended however. We CAN free ourselves from victim consciousness. To do so we must be willing to assume total responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, actions, as well as the outcomes in our lives. It requires rigorous self-honesty and a strong desire for a better life.

May you find the willingness to face and transcend your own victim consciousness.

Blessings, Lynne

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