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What do you mean, they can’t make me feel bad?!

photo credit: Prairiekittin What does it mean to say we are in charge of our own feelings? Can’t others make us feel bad? I mean who wouldn’t feel hurt if someone walks up and punches them in the nose! Of course, the other person “made” them hurt! It’s obvious, right! Yes, there are obvious physical repercussions if someone pops you in the face and bloodies

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Does forgiveness mean blaming the victim?

 photo credit: kaferris A suggestion to practice forgiveness towards those at whose hands we have felt at the mercy of, terrorized and abused by, is easily misread as condoning or tolerating the unacceptable. It is a commonly held notion that it is healthy to maintain a certain level of justified anger towards those we have felt mistreated by; it is a common belief that such

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The Realization that Frees Us from Victim Consciousness

photo credit: katerha The shift out of victim consciousness occurs when we realize that neither the cause for, nor the remedy of, our pain can be found in the external world. What we experience in life originates through the thoughts we believe about ourselves and the world. The sooner we stop blaming others and demanding answers from them to questions like, why did you do

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The Victim Addiction

photo credit: Lomo-Cam Victim consciousness is the number one addiction that underlies all addictions … which may at least partially explain why it is so hard for some of us to take space from those who abuse us. We are commonly addicted to being on the victim triangle with one another; we are addicted to rescuing (trying to control their outcomes), and persecuting others (when

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Choosing to love, no matter what

  Family relations can be so complex sometimes. It’s not unusual for family members to feel the need to distance themselves from one another for varying periods of time during the heat of a misunderstanding. During such times, it helps to remind ourselves that these (more often than not) temporary reprieves we sometimes take can provide breathing room for us and allows us to clear

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