I’ve noticed in myself, and others, a tendency to try to get someone else to help us feel better when we're feeling down … when, in fact, we generated the negative feelings in the first place!
For instance, when we mistreat ourselves through negative self-talk – we tend to believe the unkind things we're saying about ourselves which sets us up to react out of the painful feelings this unkindness produces. We may get defensive, strike out or pout and withdraw. We spiral down from there.
Even if others do offer to comfort or console us when we're in this place, they can’t. What happens instead is that rather than dispelling our negative mood, ego uses their attempt to soothe as evidence for the painful beliefs.
Remember the ego is much more interested in making its case for its painful story than it is in feeling better.
The truth is that we're the only ones, really, who can make ourselves feel better. We're the ones who cause our suffering – nothing else!
Remembering this can help prompt us towards sanity … rather than deeper into victimhood.