Yesterday, as I was walking out of the Ladies restroom at Walmart, a woman in a wheelchair was coming in and, without any sign of hesitation, she asked me to help her go to the bathroom! I was surprised and so impressed with her beautiful ability to ask for what she needed in such a wonderfully open way. Of course, I said yes ….
I don’t believe that we’re “obligated” to help others. Sometimes the act of helping is not even all that helpful! When we come from a place of “feeling sorry” for someone, we are actually “looking down” on them, and how can that “help”? Pity as well as piety are both ego driven ways of “doing” (vs. being of) service.
True service comes from a joyful and grateful heart, rather than from an attitude of, “I’m here to take care of the problem!”. It’s the ego who looks out and sees a “broken world”, in need of fixing but the world doesn’t need fixing! When we are aligned with Reality we view opportunities to serve as gifts that have come OUR way.
Back to the lady in the wheelchair, Cherie by name … she told me; “Since I’m crippled, I can’t manage these public bathrooms without help” She was completely matter-of-fact about her physical state …
I heard no detectable trace of self-pity in her words or tone.
I thought, “What a wonderful model of self-acceptance she is!”
To me, this is an example of service … Service works both ways … we give and receive … we receive and give… there is no separation. When we are stuck in either half of the formula (“I’m the giver or I’m the receiver”)we are do-gooding …. perhaps, but not really serving. Service is reciprocal, always.
Cherie did not elicit pity from me because I didn’t see a broken person ….
I saw someone who was clearly doing HER service! Her service, in that moment, whether she knew it or not … was to demonstrate self-acceptance and the joy that comes when we are living in surrender to what is. Source used Cherie to bring me that message. What a gift!
No, I did not feel pity for Cherie … but I did feel compassion.
Compassion does not come from the same place as pity. It is a combination of that masculine aspect, the refined logos (aligned with the governing principles) and the heart-felt relating of the divine feminine. The marriage of the heart and the mind births compassion.
When we express compassion, we simply UNDERSTAND and feel in our own beings where another person is because we’ve been there … and we remember what it’s like to be living the life of a victim. We vividly recall what it’s like to believe painful limiting thoughts that end up derailing us from our connection to Source. This is compassion – very different stuff than helping from a place of feeling sorry for someone or in order to get something in return.