Resistance is a form of negative attention. “Anything we resist persists” … as the saying goes. As mentioned previously, attention is a fertilizer. Resistance is the negative form of attention we give to something that we don't like. We start fighting against it – through protest perhaps, or by verbal attack … we “should” it or lambast it or feel “bad” about it … etc.
We tend to think that this is the way to eliminate undesirable circumstances … but, in fact, we only strengthen our negative relationship with these things through resistance.
We also resist ourselves.
For instance, let's say we chastise ourselves for something we see as self destructive …
“I shouldn't have done that … I am bad … unacceptable …”, etc.
When we reprimand and reproach ourselves with thoughts like these, we inevitably end up reinforcing the very thing we are judging as unacceptable. Shame is a powerful reinforcer. Resistance like this fuels addictions of every kind. The more we shame ourselves for something, the more we empower it. (What we resist persists ….)
Guilt and heavy self reprimand do not stop unwanted behaviors … quite the opposite … they serve to imprint the addictive behavior even more completely.
This is how addictions of every kind are born.