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The Abandonment/Rejection Myth

Frequently clients share with me about feeling left out or negated by their family members. This is a common feeling in families. Usually it prompts me to talk to them about what I call the “abandonment/rejection myth”. I call it a “myth” because I've come to see that it is just not possible for anyone else to abandon or reject me. Only I can do that to me. To run a story about how unloved or unappreciated I am is a potent way of tormenting and rejecting myself.

Others just do what they do in reaction to what they believe. They come and they go according to their own story which has virtually nothing to do with us – it's only their ideas or perception of what we're like, although it may include things like what they believe we've done to them or want from them.

It is always our story, and only our own self-generated story that causes our painful feelings, including ones of abandonment and rejection – never what someone else does or says to or about us.

When you find yourself complaining about family members neglecting you – turn it around and ask yourself how it is that you are rejecting or abandoning yourself right now…. Treat it there at that level as the fastest way to restore inner harmony and peace.

Blessings, Lynne

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