Comparing Ourselves to Others

the prayer
Creative Commons License photo credit: Eddi van W.

Often we may feel compelled to compare ourselves to others as a way to evaluate our progress. To do so is defeatist however, simply because it is not how we are doing in relation to others that essentially matters.

Such comparisons tell us nothing really – they cannot give us a realistic measure of where we are on our life journey at all, and instead only serve to create inner and outer disharmony.

The real measure of where we are in life is based on our right alignment and relationship with Source. Comparing where we are presently in our relationship with Source in contrast to previous times is the only comparison worth making.

To make that contrast, we ask ourselves questions like these: am I practicing the basic guiding principles in all my affairs? Am I following the instructions I receive through my daily dialog with Source? Am I doing what Source nudges me to do, no matter how that may look to others? Am I more interested in following inner ‘orders' than I am in outer approval?

The answers to questions such as these show us a true measure of our own personal progress. If we are living the spiritual truths and following the will of Source then we are progressing on our spiritual path regardless of how we look on the surface in comparison to others.

When we are rightly related to Source, we may attain the highest spiritual pinnacle – that of not being personally seen by others at all! Instead of being dazzled by our individual brilliance, or by our superiority as a person, what others see when they look at us is the power of Source shining through us all the time! They don't see our personality selves – they experience Source through us instead.

When we are rightly related to Source we become so immersed in, so absorbed by, the effulgence of that energy that we no longer notice what others may or may not be thinking about us! We stop relating to others in terms of what they may see or think of us. We have thoroughly lost ourselves over to the flow of Source energy that moves through us. We have become joyful witnesses of the life Source is expressing through us and there is no personal “self” left to compare to others! Only Source – no little “me.” Nothing else matters.

When following the promptings of Source is our number one motivating factor we lose interest in the need for the rest of the world to approve.

We lose interest in our visibility in the world – our interest in ‘self' all but disappears. We have become so identified with Source that Spirit is all that others see when they look in our direction. There is no self-consciousness about who we are or what we do. We simply serve Source to our fullest and we reap the joy, the peace, the bounty that comes as a natural result of that. Instead of self-confidence we exhibit Source-confidence!

Such thoughts and words as these are scary to our Victim-ego who thinks it must stand out as separate from others to be important, or to matter. It has no desire to serve Source, it wants only to be served. But that is a path of abject misery and pain. In Reality to lose ourselves to Source is the greatest relief and the most powerfully fulfilling thing we can possibly do! It is the real definition of personal and spiritual freedom.

May you find it so.

Blessings, Lynne

3 Responses

  1. I wondered Joi as I read your processing of this situation of this particular event was asking your permission to explore old stuck fears/ pain associated with these kinds of dynamics…life throwing a wrench in unexpectedly, seemingly pulling you off course of where you wanted to stay and be and causing an inner threat to you or a sense of something being taken away from you that was supposed to be yours.

    I only ask because I am finding time after time that my outer world is constantly providing fodder for me to integrate with emotions from the past that got stuck in my gut because I knew no method of getting away from the pain but to swallow it at the time.

  2. Hi Joi,
    Ah yes, the mind does like to run on, doesn’t it? And that’s not a problem as long as we remember that that is what’s going on!

    It sounds like you, even in the midst of story, were able to bring yourself back around to the Reality of your situation! That is what is important, Joi! 🙂

    Ego does what it does, and what it does is latch onto less than harmonious versions of stories about Reality and then try to sell us on their merit!

    When we understand this, we listen to them … and laugh! Oh how clever that ruffian ego is! How convincing, how smooth-talking and oh, what a liar! 🙂

    Blessings to you,

  3. As usual, your article was right on time for me! I have been off and on comparing myself to someone who graciously (in the midst of already busy schedule) stepped in as my understudy during a community production. After a couple of shows, I had to suddenly return to my hometown due to the illness & then passing of my father. For some reason, (possibly as a mental distraction?) I kept thinking about how the cast probably thought she was a better actor then me. Performing arts by its very ego driven nature can be extremely competitive and comparison oriented but I chose a long time ago to do it because I truly enjoyed performing, not to worry about what others did better or how they looked, etc. For the most part, I don’t usually focus on that type of thing but off/on I kept thinking how this gracious person had probably bonded with the cast and how they liked her more, etc. She had reassured me many times, without any prompting, that everyone missed me and sent their love to me during the time I was with my family. Her behavior was warm and loving, so were those in the cast that contacted me but I found my brain wandering down ‘storyline lane’ – making up stories about why some in the cast hadn’t contacted me, what ‘they’ really thought of me…it was silliness and I have tried to brush it off…but it kept coming up. Your article put things into another perspective all together, showing me that it is never about comparisons to others, even in the arts, but always about our relationship connection to Source. Thank you again for reminding me of where to put my focus!

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