A few more clarifying thoughts on how I see death …
In my mind there is a great difference between acceptance of death and wanting it. I certainly do not want anyone to die and MOST especially, my children or those I have the biggest attachment to. I cannot even imagine how it would feel to lose a child or one of my grandchildren! I did not mean to imply that I am callous towards the very real process we must go through of letting go. I do believe in [I]practicing[/I] an attitude of acceptance though. I do not want to tell myself I cannot handle something that, in fact… is such a part of life. Understanding what death is and is not … being clear on what “dies” and what does not … are ways of dealing with my own and the inevitability of eventually having to face it in my life. Because I accept that someone is dying or has died does not mean I wanted it to happen. It does not mean I am apathetic about my own or someone elses death. I will do everything I can to keep my own body well and alive and to protect and safeguard my loved ones … even as I simultaneously understand that the final say is not mine.
I want my loved ones to live fully every minute they are alive. My task is to be able to let them go when it's time to do that. Does this sound paradoxical? I think it may be. It is one of the greatest challenges for any one of us to accept something that everything in us resists – and yet this is what coming to terms with death requires.
I also know well that talking about letting go is not the same as doing it. We hold on in deep, unconscious ways whether we plan to or not. I love having a system in place that allows me to investigate deeply the stories I tell myself that keep me from freedom and peace. That's what I am, in my bumbling, fumbling way, attempting to share.
I appreciate the motivation to think more deeply about this often taboo subject – death. Blessings, Lynne