When we help others out of a need for approval or a sense of guilt, obligation or superiority, we are rescuing. This puts us on the Victim Triangle™ where we end up in the victim role.
Here are a few possible underlying motives for rescuing:
- Because we believe that it's selfish to take care of ourselves, we do for others from a hidden agenda that they will feel obligated to reciprocate.
- We feel guilty for having more than we think we deserve so we give to alleviate our own discomfort.
- We want others to be dependent on us. It makes us feel important.
- We truly believe “They can't make it without me”.
- We pity them and feel superior when we do for them.
- We hope to get something we want from them.
- We want to be in control.
- We want acceptance, acknowledgment and validation.