Some Common Shoulds That Keep Us in Victim Consciousness

I like to think of challenging times as being like grueling workouts designed to strengthen the spiritual muscles. As much as these times try us, they are FOR us. Way beyond words, I see Life and all it brings as opportunities for refinement. Seen from that perspective, there is no such thing as seeing a problem in the face of encountering challenges along the way. Life may be difficult … challenging … or extremely painful … however,  pain does NOT necessarily mean that something is wrong. Often pain indicates growth and expansion …

Self-inflicted suffering comes from holding on to some intensely painful beliefs that spiral quickly downward into misery making reactions.

Here a list of some common beliefs that holds us in Victim Consciousness:

  • “Things are not the way they should be” – this belief is universal and the root cause of most human suffering. Believing this thought causes us to fixate on problems instead of what we have that is working. Of course, what follows on the heels of this belief is the need to control, deny, or attack the thing ( or person) we think should be different.
  • “There is no support for me” – believing this causes us to turn our backs on the Universal Support that is always available and leaves us feeling bereft, alone, abandoned, and fearful for the future.
  • “They shouldn't be allowed to get away with the horrible things they do.” This one is a belief that causes us to react with acts of vindication (which is simply revenge justified) instead of seeing the law of Reality that recognizes that injustices are performed by those who believe their own unhappy thinking about the way life should be. Their reactions are an unabashed attempt to manipulate things. (Oh, they are just like us!)
  • “These things shouldn't have happened to me.” – believing this leads to the inability to realize that there is no such thing as coincidence … that there is not a single thing that has happened to you that has not been essential for your life purpose and growth.

Notice all the shoulds in the list above.  I like to think of “Shouldville” as the hometown of the victim ego. Shoulds are a reaction that only causes resistance to Reality (a sure-fire way to guarantee misery). Peace never comes from the demand that things be different than the way they are. Reality does not recognize “should” – it simply and relentlessly reflects the belief being projected, and never the ideal.

Hope this is helpful.


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