A friend recently shared sad news with me about the murder of one of her friends and asked me to help her reconcile her feelings of guilt and sadness around it.
My response follows ….
It’s hard to make any sort of sense of such happenings … especially when we identify solely with physical reality and the surface appearance of things.
I want to walk cautiously here, lest I come across as lacking compassion … So let me first say that I do not know what it would be like to lose someone I love to a death such as your friend experienced … I can imagine that there would be all kinds of painful questions and deep seated beliefs for me to feel my way through on my way to restoring some semblance of inner peace again. Perhaps since she was not someone I knew personally however, I might be better able to see the situation through eyes of peace.
From that perspective I will speak here and say a few things that bring me solace ….
First, I imagine that this experience of losing a loved one through such a traumatic exit is probably most painful for friends and family – who are likely to suffer MORE from their own personal regrets (guilt, fear or bitter resentment) as from the actual death itself.
This is the way of it. It is always our stories that create the greatest pain.
Secondly, I do believe that your friend died “on time” – Her life was complete and she left. The way she left was a reflection of her life story … how could it be otherwise? Our death is ruled by the same Universal Principles that consistently operate in the world.
The Law of Mentalism says that we live in One Big Universal Mind and we're all “figments” of it … that Mind belongs to you … and your friend …. and every single other person as well as my own. We are all parts of the One Mind which is the “I AM”.
What does all that mean? It means that her death did in fact happen in her own mind first – she played out her personal life story the way we all do. But this does not mean she is finished. The Law of Vibration promises that we are eternal vibrational beings … made up of energy which never dies – cannot be destroyed- only transformed. Think about the word “trans-form” … to trans (change) form is to go through a vibrational frequency shift that totally alters our life expression. In other words, your friend lives – she is an energy being who has dropped physical form. Speak to her in your mind … she is still very much alive there!
The Law of Cause and Effect teaches that there are no mistakes, no coincidences … that this young woman married a man who would end up taking her life, for instance, was no accident. She cast him for the part he played in her life drama. Did she do this consciously? Probably not.
The Cause and Effect principle would further suggest that your knowing her was not a coincidence either. What message does this situation bring you?
The Law of Correspondence teaches with the axiom, “As above (within) – So below (without)” This teaching helps us understand that the world is constructed to act as an ever present mirror, always showing us our own internal mind. Whenever something happens in our lives that causes an emotional stir then we can know that we are being given a reflection of some internal aspect of our own mind.
Watch carefully the stories that come up in your own mind around the death of your friend. For instance, “This terrible thing shouldn't have happened ….” Is that true? Do you absolutely know that?
When we remember that Reality rules, we are reminded that there is no such place as “Shouldville”. Nothing can happen that shouldn’t happen because should/shouldn’t does not exist. There’s no arguing with reality. Understanding this helps make it clear that what happened HAD to happen. Why? Because it did. We may not understand why it happened … that’s not our job … our job is to accept that it did. Otherwise we only create suffering for ourselves through a resistance to something that we have absolutely NO control over.
Apply the four questions to thoughts like these that bring stress.
When you focus on imagining her last agonizing moments of terror, what frequency does that create? When we focus on the drama of the experience, we generate one frequency … when we choose instead to apply the Universal Principles to situations like this one … we can forgive and find peace. Our hearts can then open to life, rather than contract in fear and angst. This allows us to continue our relationship with those who have died – within our minds we continue to see and experience their continuing energy – they can never really leave.
I hope this was helpful. I hold you and your friend in my mind, seeing you both as complete and free.