To Serve As Witnesses for One Another … Love In Action

My oldest, best friend, Bobbie Gene died yesterday morning. His worn out liver finally gave up. Even though I was not there when he passed away, I knew he was gone before I got the call telling me so. We were just sorta like that with one another.

There are all kinds of relationships … some friends we meet while we're young and then we walk in and out of each others' lives until one or the other finally leaves the planet altogether on their journey Home. Bobbie Gene is such a friend for me.

We were life “witnesses” for one another – we knew each other way back when and watched each other change as we moved through one AFGE (Another F….ing Growth Experience ;)) after another, finally to settle into some version or another of adulthood. He told me not so long ago that every dramatic life change he had watched me make had made me a better person… Saying stuff like that when he felt it (for he was never one to offer empty platitudes in attempts to please) is just the kind guy he was.

Bobbie Gene was one of those friends, that though men came and went in my life, he was a mainstay. Never in my bed, but always in my heart, this man knew how to laugh at our dramas and wild escapades, he pitched in when an extra hand was needed, and stood beside me in my most humiliating moments. It's the tough sort of stuff he was made of.

And he found humor in whatever life dished out. His delighted chuckle always worked in cheering me up whenever I was caught up in one of my ever so common dramas, reminding me that it was all gonna be fine … that, things work out, and that, in his eyes at least, I was ok already … and that smiling assurance of his went a long way in helping me to get ok with me.

When I made the decision to walk away from the wild lifestyle we were sharing back then, he was glad, even though he did not follow suit. He went right on living the late night party life the same way we always had, even as he applauded me for leaving it behind – you see, BG knew how to love without letting it interfere with his own choices. He knew how to let others, including himself, simply be.

He was brought to me in those early years, a gift from the Universe to remind me I'm loved. He had my back through some pretty dark places. He was my safe harbor and my sage companion. I was blessed to have known him and I am blessed to know him still – for you see BG is my internal witness now. Still serving as my funny, life-loving friend, he watches me with frank acceptance and humor that puts me at ease. Even now I can see him in my mind's eye, grinning, all leaned up against his ride outta here, telling me that I have not seen the last of him yet – and I know it's true, because BG said so! And I must say that I am much relieved to hear it! 🙂 I am a blessed woman indeed!

How about you? Is there someone who plays the role of “witness” to your life? Or does this sound terribly rare? I do not know if it is something we all share – I only know I am wonderfully grateful to have had BG as witness in mine – and I would wish it for you too.

Thanks for listening.

Blessings, Lynne


6 Responses

  1. Hi Dana, No, I doubt that you met BG. He came into my life right on the heels of John and so did not become part of the family until after we lost touch with one another … Yes, the BG’s and the Rodney’s in our life share our journeys leaving an effect upon our hearts that last a lifetime, yes? SO glad you had that experience with Rodney. 🙂 It’s always great to hear from you! Blessings,

  2. Rose, what a beautiful tribute to your lost friend. I can see tears as you were writing it. I am sure the tears started along with a smile when you thought of the joyous times that you had with him. Would I have ever met BG?

    I had this same friend but his name was Rodney. All I had to do was read and replace BG with Rodney’s name. Rodney was taken from us way too early in life and lives daily inside of me.

  3. Thank you, Jackie, for your kind words. BG was indeed a witness for many of us – sort of the glue that brought us together and held his family together too. It would be difficult indeed to find a kinder heart anywhere.

  4. Beautifully written Lynne. Thank you. He was the witness for so many–unselfishly giving of his heart and his time. With out sounding cliché, our lives have been better for having him in them, no matter how long or short our time was. I will miss him terribly, but he’ll live forever in our souls. Much love, Jackie

  5. Thank you for sharing Brenda. There were many of us who loved him and felt specially loved by him. You are certainly one of us! Much love. Lynne

  6. My version of Bobby Gene was wonderful and fulfilling, sans the need to be around each other all the time. I inspired him and he inspired me. I remember that he loved the Bee Gee’s music, and his first two initials were, of course, BG…laugh away, it is cute. He did love their music, so I will play it when I want to feel close to him. I remember when and where he introduced me to the Bee Gee’s music. It was at a Pizza Hut on Versailles Rd near Alexandria Drive back in the early 70s and they had a juke box with the music on it. I plugged in some quarters and BG requested their music and I fell in love with it as well. He also looked like he could be a BG 😉 I have other stories that I probably shouldn’t post here, not lewd or anything, but still personal. I just felt so comfortable around him, until I wanted to move on, which I did and he was comfortable with that as well. That was a definite tether for us, that I was there when I was and he was there when he was, but we were always together in spirit.

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