The Victim Triangle

Do you know that every time you blame something or someone outside yourself for your unhappiness that you are seeing yourself as a victim? This way of perceiving the world is what creates all of our mental and emotional misery. We see the world through a victim lens every time we think something outside of us is causing our unhappiness

There are three aspects or roles in this state of consciousness called victimhood; the Rescuer, Persecutor and Victim. These three roles of victimhood were originally diagramed by a well-respected psychiatrist and teacher of Transactional Analysis, Stephen Karpman. He calls it the Drama Triangle – I refer to it as the Victim Triangle.triangle

I believe that every dysfunctional interaction takes place on this Victim Triangle.

The three positions on the Victim Triangle are called the roles of victim because no matter where we start out on the triangle we eventually end up in the victim position. We simply move around the triangle going from one role to another in our interaction with others (and/or ourselves) with painful results.

The Victim Triangle is the playing field on which our unhappy stories gets acted out. We use the triangle to verify our limiting stressful ideas about each other and life in general.

The bottom line is that if we’re on the triangle we’re in victimhood, plain and simple!

Read my article, “Faces of Victim” to learn more. And be sure and sign up there on my article site to receive the eBook “Signs of Victimhood” which will also bring you continuing information on ways to liberate yourself from the victim mindset.

5 Responses

  1. This is a wonderful insight into Victimhood. I work with the Drama Triangle in psychotherapy and find that Victim Conciouaneas is high among people. As we look at the root of this, childhood traumas and insensitive vocabulary get the submerged Adult ego to hide further.

    1. Thank you Dr. Jayin, 🙂 Victim Consciousness is the primary state of consciousness on this planet, imo simply because it reflects the level of maturity at which most humans function. VC is based in blame; blame is a fear-based response that says if we are not perfect we will be attacked, rejected, or disrespected, so we can not risk being found responsible for anything. As long as we function from such fear based notions we cannot accept responsibility for where we are and what life is teaching us through the challenges we face. Without self-responsibility we cannot experience true inner freedom. Practicing self-accountability and the ability to respond consciously allows us to become “grown-ups” in a world that is otherwise run by bossy helpers (Rescuers), helpless babies (victims) and temper-tantrum throwing bullies (Persecutors) – or so it seems to me. 🙂

  2. A major part of my therapy has centered on Karpman’s Drama Triangle. I fully agree with Lynne’s approach that it’s the Victim triangle. We all are the Victim at one time or another and being the victim creates the gravitational pull that make the triangle so powerful.

    Lynne makes you aware of what and why you find yourself in the Victim role and how to escape from it.

    Believe me, life is so much better once you escape. It takes a lot or awareness and effort to stay out once you’ve escaped. It’s an ongoing battle and Lynne can help support you. Read the book, subscribe to the newsletter, attend the seminar. Whatever it takes to change your thinking so you can escape and remain out of the triangle because it’s the Bermuda Triangle of the soul.

  3. Hi Glenn, I am glad you found this work. it all starts with the recognition of the “problem.”
    Yes, I am working hard to complete a book about transforming Victimhood that describes a step by step process for getting ourselves off the Triangle. I hope to have it in print and available by the first of the new year.
    In the meantime, I would suggest that you subscribe (if you haven’t already) for the “Signs of Victim” & “Victim Vocabulary.” To subscribe go to my article page for “Faces of Victim.”

    Also, I recommend that you use this blog as a way to continue expanding your understanding of Victimhood towards developing your own observer consciousness (the opposite of victim), & that you read Byron Katie’s book, “I Need Your Love, Is It True.”
    Blessings & luck on your consciousness journey,

  4. I have read your commentary about the victim triangle. I am convinced that in our family, we are pretty good at the various roles. How can we get off the triangle? You talk about a forthcoming E-Book…will that address this? How soon will it be out? In its absence, do you have other books that you could recommend?

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