A young woman expressed concern about feeling prompted, at times, to settle for sex, when a committed relationship is what she really wants…. She asked if there was a way to decrease libido ….
I'm not sure I would recommend “decreasing” libido – I don't think sexual energy needs to be decreased ….
I've come to recognize that sexual energy and spiritual energy are one and the same. Think about it. Both are about “the urge to merge” – i.e., seeking union. It's just that sex is about finding that with another person, physically and the spirituality is about finding union with Source.
Orgasm is all about completely letting go and isn't that what we long to do with Source? These two energies are of the same vital life force. But, what we can do is learn to utilize our sexual energy in ways that heal and align us. Rather than controlling or subduing this energy, we can learn to re-direct it.
The cross is a symbol that expresses this idea well. Sexual energy can certainly “crucify” us when we express it horizontally, (meaning to act it out in the world through affairs, promiscuity, sexual addiction, etc) or we can direct it straight up, through a vertical expression (meditation and prayerful intention) and use it to become one with Source.
The ancient traditions did much around exploring and re-aligning sexual energy… that's what traditions like Tantric yoga are all about.
Here's a quote I found online, here from a taoist point of view …
“… sexual energy can be a very powerful tool for those who make use of it. Like fire, it can be controlled if used in a proper way. Fire can cook your food, warm your house, and help to provide a comfortable life. If it is misused, however, it can burn down your house and kill someone. Another example is water, which can quench our thirst or drown someone. The same principle applies to sexual energy, which can benefit anyone's health. Unfortunately, some religions have condemned it while trying to prevent its misuse, thereby promoting confusion.
Through their practice of celibacy, masters, monks, nuns, and priests learn how to use sexual energy to enhance their virtues and connect with the highest force, or God. By focusing upon God as a means of raising sexual energy up to the higher centers of their bodies, they transform it into virtuous energy, which enhances their spiritual growth (referred to as reunion with God, or the Higher Bliss). This can only occur when sexual energy is conserved and transferred up to the higher centers and the crown to attract the higher force.
Sexual energy is neutral. It should not be judged as good or bad, but it can multiply any positive or negative quality that exists within each us. This same sexual energy, which can create another human being, or enhance one's spiritual growth, can also increase our negative states if we neglect to recycle it.”