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The Things We Teach Our Children …

The video of the disgruntled dad who taught his ungrateful daughter a lesson with his Colt 45 and her laptop on Facebook was brought to my attention recently. I was asked my opinion.

I thought about it several times before I responded, and at one point, was tempted not to respond at all. The comments I read were steeped in support for the father's reaction, and I could see their point! I understand the frustration of parents and adults who feel completely at wit's end with knowing how to deal with these kids!

Indeed, we do seem to have reached a saturation point, as parents and adults working with kids, of frustration and fear of our children that has us right at the brink of desperation – or so it appears to me.

We find ourselves not knowing what else to do except to turn our full fury upon them!

We look around and see a world run amok with, literally, gangs of unruly teenagers who share in common a misery deep seated misery that blames the rest of the world for their suffering. Some suffer from total deprivation, and others suffer from an entitlement mentality that demands that something be done for them NOW to alleviate their boredom, and their misery.

I understand that there are many parents who must be totally tired to the bone of that dance with their adolescent offspring.

But here's the thing I ask us to remember before we resort to such volatile action as exhibited by our fed-up dad, and it's the law: Violence begets more violence.

Children are always watching us. They learn more by far from what they see then they learn from what is said to them. If you yell at your son not to smoke, as you light one up, which directive do you think he is more likely to follow? The one he sees? Or the one he hears?

Our children learn how to handle life and their emotional responses by watching how we, their parents, react and respond to life. If we, as their parents, react from anger at them by destroying what belongs to them (even if we ARE the ones who gave it to them), we show them that when they are angry at someone, it is justifiable to destroy that person's stuff. This is just for starters! There are other lessons inherent in such dramatic demonstation as well.

I find it fascinating that the very thing this dad is so angry with his daughter about is the very thing he is doing here in this video in his interaction with her! He got on Facebook and did the exact same stuff he described her as doing to him! He got on Facebook “behind her back,” and ranted against her! He feels disrespected because she ranted against him, so he retaliates by ranting disrespectfully against her, and then takes it a step further, and destroys her property! What will she need to do to one-up this one? O my, the stakes DO get high, don't they?!

Sorta reminds me of the movie “The War of The Roses,”  with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, about a couple going through a divorce and battling it out to total disastrous ends. It's such a human thing to do – but oh so painful and truly unnecessary really!

My heart goes out to this distraught parent who must have felt at wit's end to take such drastic action, and to his confused, equally angry daughter, who knows only how to react according to what she's seen modelled by the adults around her.

Theirs is a blatant example of the all-too common reality that lies behind the words, “we teach others how to treat us!” This father has surely shown his daughter an example of how to treat others. She now gets to choose.

We have developed a model of working with kids. We call it the Reality Formula for Kids™. Email me for more information or click here to learn about some of our offerings for kids:

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