I recently uncovered a restricting story that goes; “whatever I think and experience as inspiring and helpful for me is something I'm supposed to share with others IMMEDIATELY”.
I quickly recognized that believing that thought had me feeling obligated to pass on any and every new thing I learned, whether I felt ready, or even wanted to, or not ….
“It’s what I’m supposed to do…” Not only did I think I was responsible for immediately passing these ideas on, I also believed that since these insights had been given me “for sharing” – they should flow through me effortlessly and be delivered perfectly.
There is a time that I would never have even realized that I was letting thoughts like this disturb my inner calm. That was before I learned how to follow my stressful feelings in to the underlying story.
Once I locate what I'm believing I can assess the consequences of believing it. In this case, for instance, believing that I was sort of morally responsible for reporting my growth process meant that when things didn't go as “perfectly as they should …” as occurred often, I would be angry and abusive towards myself for “failing”.
Bringing this belief out into the light of consciousness helped tremendously. What we can see clearly loses its power over us. Realizing that I was operating out of this belief, for instance assisted me in better understanding that part of me that feels driven to teach. That allowed my negative feelings of guilt and frustration to dissipate. Making it conscious allowed me to ease up on the inner assault on myself. Understanding follows. With understanding comes a growing self acceptance. Peace ensues.
In investigating this concept, I came to see that something I'd been framing as a problem was actually a grace … i.e. my desire to share what I learn immediately has actually been instrumental in taking risks that have led to new opportunities that I might not otherwise have had. As a result I have grown in ways that I would never have foreseen.
Knowing that I don't have to automatically believe what I think has set me free from feeling at the mercy of my thoughts and feelings. When a thought is causing distress I know immediate relief can be had simply by asking the right question. 🙂