I wanted to comment on something I heard a client say recently … She said, “… I have to stop thinking negative thoughts ….”
While it is true that it is through being more gentle and kind to ourselves that a more loving relationship can be obtained… it is also important to ask; How in the world does one go about “stopping” negative thoughts?
I, for one, have never been able to control my thoughts. They come … they go.
To expect myself to stop thinking anything seems very self-defeating – simply because it's impossible!
What I can do, however is make such negative self-talk conscious and notice what happens when I believe these insane and unkind ideas about myself. I can ask myself if they are true and look at what would be different if I didn't believe them. This allows me to put space between me and these hurtful beliefs and with that comes freedom and peace.
Trying to get rid of my unwanted thoughts simply sets up internal resistance. Instead I can choose to recognize low frequency feelings and connect those emotions with the thought behind it for the purpose of learning what the limiting belief is.
I can “up” my frequency by asking myself what more loving way there might be of seeing myself or the situation … how can I be more kind towards myself?
Being kinder to yourself means accepting even your unkindness.