As we evolve, ego evolves along with us… We begin to judge ourselves for having low frequency thoughts and feelings. For instance, we might tell ourselves, “I shouldn't feel angry”.
Feelings are indicators – that’s all. They signal us about our frequency; are we in high or low frequency? No need to wonder – our feelings tell us. So there's no need to put ourselves down for having “bad” feelings… instead we learn to follow these feelings into its cause.
Rather than looking “out there” to what we might like to think is “causing the problem”, we practice turning our attention inward.
Instead of judging ourselves for having a low frequency feelings (For instance, “I shouldn't be feeling anger … it means I’m not as evolved as I should be …”), we trust that this is exactly the feeling we should be having. By paying attention to it, it will take me to a misery-making belief. This is a necessary step to personal freedom.
Anger, like any “bad” feeling, indicates story. This is not good or bad … it just is. Anger and hurt will point us to the internal mental “spin” we're running if we know how to follow it in. Put your whole attention on clearing the negative story that is creating the painful feelings and you will experience a high frequency outcome, both on the inner plain as well as in the external situation. It is quite magical. When I “unwind” the story causing the angst, the outer situation resolves or dissolves. I've witnessed this again and again.
Feel the feeling … where is it in the body? … Sit in those feelings without judging them and listen closely to the thoughts that are tied to them.
Use the uncomfortable feelings to find the root cause in the thinking mind.
Again and again I remind myself to follow the feelings IN to their source, rather than getting stuck in the mire that comes from staying externally focused. Intervene on the inner mental plane – it changes EVERYTHING – inside and out.
So … “I shouldn’t feel angry”, is that true? Ask, “Why shouldn’t I feel this feeling?” “What do I tell myself it means about me that I feel this way?” Follow it in to the underlying story … question every concept that comes up between there and the basic root cause of the uncomfortable feelings
Write it down. I can’t emphasize enough how much benefit comes from writing these old, family stories out. Use the Katie Byron worksheet and write about the people you blame for your painful feelings. Use the external situation as a way to see the internal set up. I promise you, there is one. 🙂