Every time I think back on that five minutes of wuji I am more deeply awed. In front of a whole group of people including my much respected teacher of qigong, Jeff, I was able to step aside and witness wuji happening through me. The results were awe-inspiring! I found myself able to do what I knew I could not do – not only did I wuj like a pro but I was recognized by my teacher for being among the best in the class that day (something I never dreamed possible).
It happened like this
There were forty of us being tested that day to qualify for Level 3 “Wuji” Certification. Jeff called us, two at a time, to the front of the circle for five minutes of wuji “testing” – the object being for us to demonstrate that we could utilize the forms and principles we had been learning.
My name hadn't been called by lunchtime and watching others perform so beautifully had exacerbated thoughts about my own inadequacy at performing wuji.
During lunch break I had a chat with myself about the reality of my ability in wuji … Getting out on the floor, I practiced wuji but could not find the flow. I realized, I simply did not have it. I felt unsteady on my feet and my moves were clunky and not smooth.
This is when the thought came, “Some people underestimate themselves by thinking they are not as good at something as they really are …. Other people think they are better at something than they really are.” I decided that the latter statement applied to me. I could see many times in my life when I thought I was better at something than I turned out to be. “Wuji is just one of those things that I cannot do well,” I decided.
I didn't beat myself up with this realization. I looked, instead for how to be at peace with it as a very real possibility. I decided that if I were to fail certification it would be because I need to have that experience for my own growth and expansion. “It will bring needed gifts in humility”, I thought. “If I don't pass, my errors will be helpful learning examples for myself and others…” Such thoughts as these brought me some comfort and I was able to relax into letting the outcome be whatever it was to be.
After lunch, while watching others test and continuing to wait for my name to be called it came to me that I was to still my mind from wandering during my demo by focusing on a Universal Principle.
When my name was called, I did just that – I set my intention on Source and it made all the difference! I quieted and focused my mind by reciting, “All the Power that ever was or will be is here now.” It was like magic. In those moments I felt the qi, pulsing & alive, flowing through me, directing my movements and prompting my steps.
The living force field of the ocean was visible in front of me and the palpable sensation of qi was strong between my palms and arms. I pressed on qi and surrendered while watching my body move. All I had to do was be a container for that Flow. I experienced the paradox of emptiness within form. It was amazing.
There was no thought of anything outside the dialogue that was going on between my body and the Flow of Energy that was moving it. The mind observed the movement rather than call the shots or criticize. It was a beautiful thing to witness and I was surprised – totally surprised at the flowing sequence of wuji that came through.
It has taken me days to assimilate this experience enough to put it into words. For someone like me, who had concluded that wuji was something I could not do well, to be able not only to pass but to excel at it seems a miracle. I believe it is. It's the miracle that happens to all of us every time we surrender our doings to Source.
Qigong is a pathway to learning how to become a vessel through which universal energy pours. The emptier we are, the more full our lives become.
I feel blessed to experience firsthand these ancient ways of tapping into Source energy and overwhelmed with gratitude to my teachers and Source. It is truly a miraculous world.
I love experiments like these that show me the power of being in relationship with a Source that moves and breathes us.