Yes, it's nice when our loved ones are consoling and understanding when we are down … but not necessary! And it can even be a way of reinforcing victim hood when those we love get on board with the idea that life has been unfair or unjust to us and we therefore deserve to feel down.
Daniel (my husband) has consistently refused to indulge me in times past when I wanted to wallow in feeling sorry for myself about life events that I judged as hard or unfair. Today I feel most grateful to him for that … his refusal to get on board with my misery encouraged me to evaluate my thoughts and adjust my frequency, rather than indulging negative feeling states of misery.
This sort of support is my present definition of love. Love is the willingness to not indulge any level of victim. That is one of the most loving things someone can do for me!
Don't indulge me in feeling bad … encourage me, instead, to examine my beliefs so that I can question them and clear the distortion that's got me seeing life as “unfair” or “not going right”. This is a truly loving act … to refuse to hang out with me in self generated misery … to gently insist on my right to joy through a process of cleansing my perception.
A distorted thought is the only thing EVER that stands between me and happiness. Thank God for loved ones who refuse to settle for anything less than that!
I am loving you right now in just this way… 🙂