Gradually, we lose interest in futile external attempts to manipulate the world and become absorbed instead by what we're learning and experiencing on the inner planes. We find more changes happen externally when we address their causes within our minds. It's a major shift – this going from external to internal focus and one that brings freedom in a way that nothing else can. There is not a single “problem” we face that does not come out of some tightly held mental construct. Once we find and question its’ veracity in our own minds, all signs of it's outward appearance disappears or else shifts so dramatically that we hardly recognize it from before.
I believe in sharing my process with others because I see myself as a sort of “demonstration model” for the work. I (like you) am a “work in progress” who has committed to cultivating a relationship with Reality through the principles I study and teach. I believe my “job” is to report and demonstrate what I have learned (and am learning) from my daily practice in clearing and raising my consciousness. I am serious in my intention to utilize these principles and teachings in my own daily life. A big part of that commitment is to spend some time every day in some sort of practice designed to open up the energy channels, clear old beliefs and story on a physical, as well as emotional level. The more I practice the principles the deeper I experience understanding and the more peace vibrates through me. I am blessed to have this opportunity to share the work. I do it wholeheartedly from a totally selfish perspective. You see the more I pass on to others, the more I am filled by it. There can be no giving without receiving – there can be no receiving without giving. The two are one.
A few more clarifying thoughts on how I see death …
In my mind there is a great difference between acceptance of death and wanting it. I certainly do not want anyone to die and MOST especially, my children or those I have the biggest attachment to. I cannot even imagine how it would feel to lose a child or one of my grandchildren! I did not mean to imply that I am callous towards the very real process we must go through of letting go. I do believe in [I]practicing[/I] an attitude of acceptance though. I do not want to tell myself I cannot handle something that, in fact… is such a part of life. Understanding what death is and is not … being clear on what “dies” and what does not … are ways of dealing with my own and the inevitability of eventually having to face it in my life. Because I accept that someone is dying or has died does not mean I wanted it to happen. It does not mean I am apathetic about my own or someone elses death. I will do everything I can to keep my own body well and alive and to protect and safeguard my loved ones … even as I simultaneously understand that the final say is not mine.
I want my loved ones to live fully every minute they are alive. My task is to be able to let them go when it's time to do that. Does this sound paradoxical? I think it may be. It is one of the greatest challenges for any one of us to accept something that everything in us resists – and yet this is what coming to terms with death requires.
I also know well that talking about letting go is not the same as doing it. We hold on in deep, unconscious ways whether we plan to or not. I love having a system in place that allows me to investigate deeply the stories I tell myself that keep me from freedom and peace. That's what I am, in my bumbling, fumbling way, attempting to share.
I appreciate the motivation to think more deeply about this often taboo subject – death. Blessings, Lynne
I got some strong feedback disagreeing with some of what I said yesterday about death. Hearing the feedback brought me awareness of how my words could come across – It definitely could sound like I am discounting grief and that wasn't my intention. I apologize if that's how it sounds to you.
One concern was about saying such things to someone who has just lost a loved one. It's true… these thoughts are not necessarily for the newly bereaved. I suppose I was sharing more from a “philosophical” perspective – I was trying to teach through the lens of Universal Principles – I may not have done it very well. 🙁
Let me see if I can say it a little bit better….
It seems the word “gift” was a trigger for some….
I DO believe in the grieving process. I think it is essential to “melt” the pain of loss through tears and expression. And it takes however long it takes. I have also experienced for myself and heard others say that they received many “gifts” through the process of loss. Let me name a few of my own.
The grieving process for my father opened me to a whole new level of personal growth work – Breathwork was a “gift” that came to me as a result of my own grief process. It became a primary vehicle for cleansing and releasing my own emotional body as well as powerfully transforming resource in my work with others.
My father's dying process brought healing between us in a way that had not been possible until then. We were finally able to get real with each other – say things we had both wanted to say, and forgive, accept and express our gratitude for each other – ALL because of his dying. There were SO many gifts there. Death was definitely a friend for him … he was facing a long hard struggle if he lived on. He was tired and told me he was looking forward to moving on. My impression was that he saw it as a gift. There were SO many gifts in that whole sacred passage for us. I have had similar experiences with the friends I was priviledged to be close to through their dying process.
I continue my relationship with them all internally. I talk with my dad, for instance…I'll hear him just as plain as day and seemingly out of the blue sometime… hear him comment on something I'm doing or thinking. He is still “alive” in me.
Yes, there is a very physical “missing” that I definitely experience on occasion for my father and for close friends who have died. I like to give myself permission to feel it and allow it to bring up those, sometimes painfully sweet memories of our past togetherness. I also notice the stories that come with the pain and am careful to investigate the ones that take me too far down the frequency scale. For instance, one belief that came up for me was, “I have to suffer for a long time when someone I love dies, or it means I didn't care.” I've investigated that one and found it to be untrue for me.
I have come to believe that my deceased loved ones want me to move on, to find happiness again and grow to be the best I can be … what better honoring of them than to say, “I learned from your passing. I have integrated what I learned in a way that enables me to, not only be a better person, but also be of more service to others.” Or, in other words, “I have assimilated the best of what I learned from you … you and I are now one. You live on in and through me.” At least that is what I hope those I leave behind feel in relation to my passing.
One other thought… and this is just for me… I understand if it doesn't fit for you. My greatest desire is to live in harmony with what is … I am totally miserable when I fight against life – or death. WHAT IS, IS. Death, whether it's death of someone or some thing, teaches us surrender to what is. Death is the ultimate finality … my desire is to be at peace with it because I have no choice. As a result I look for the highest frequency explanation about this phenomena which is a fact of life … because I cannot change it. (The Serenity Prayer; “Lord, help me accept the things I cannot change…”)
My desire is to have a way of understanding this thing I cannot control so that I can align and be in harmony with the reality of it. To see it as the enemy implies that I am a victim, at the mercy of a cruel and meaningless Universe. This does not work for me at all.
I can see how this can come across as intellectual platitudes. However, for me it is very real. It works. I am able to relax about my own dying and accept the reality of death around me better when I see it this way. That is all I am trying to say.
I hope I did a better job this time. 🙂
I awoke thinking about you this morning. I was touched by your sharing yesterday and found myself with so many things in my heart to say … . But, at that moment I did not find the right way to speak these thoughts – perhaps it was not time. This morning, however, I awoke with you fresh in my mind and desiring to share with you.
So I decided to write my thoughts here and offer them to you … to read or not, as you please. I simply want to share with you some of what brings me inner peace. Who knows, perhaps these ideas will serve you as well. Of perhaps, I simply need to write these things for my own benefit and am just using you as an inspiration to do so….
Perhaps the first great relief came for me when I learned what an incredible story maker my ego is! And then I discovered that ego feeds on the resistance that gets created when I believe the stressful stories it tells. (Resistance is any sort of negative feeling or reaction such as anxiety, sadness, resentment, etc that robs me of peace.)
I always think of the nursery rhyme…
“Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater had a wife and couldn't keep her – so he put her in a pumpkin shell and there he kept her very well.”.
This, to me, is a great description of our relationship with ego. Ego is Peter Pumpkin Eater … that masculine function/ego intellect that is constantly trying to imprison the feminine aspect of self or Divine Essence. The only way he can “keep her(me)” is by convincing her(me) of the story (represented in the rhyme by the pumpkin shell) that he tells her is the truth about who she is. Ego has a definition of self that is very limiting. For instance, the “pumpkin” story told me unrelentingly by ego went something like this; “I am Lynne, daughter of an alcoholic. I am selfish and uncaring and totally unlovable … the world is an unhappy place and I have to take whatever I can wherever I can get it in order to survive…etc etc”
As long as ego could keep me convinced that I was indeed this limited definition of self it could “keep me very well”, which means it rules. In this way, ego keeps me separated from my true nature which is Pure Essence, High Frequency PEACE.
On the coattails of that realization, came the understanding that there are two basic frequencies that the emotional body generates; high frequency and low. High frequency consists of feelings such as love, peace, acceptance, harmony. It is our thoughts that generate frequency. If our thoughts are of a high frequency we will experience feelings on the same frequency – feelings that align us with Source. I realized that only High frequency feelings can bring me into alignment with Source because Source consists of of only the Highest Frequency. Therefore when I am resonating at a low frequency (angst, resentment, pain, depression or any negative state) I cannot connect with Source simply because I am out of vibrational range of that frequency. We are vibrating on different wave lengths, so to speak. When I'm in low frequency, in order to align and connect with Source I must find a way to “up” my frequency.
It didn't take me long to see how committed ego is in keeping me separated from Source by constantly running a low frequency story! These low frequency stories always create nothing but suffering and unhappiness. As a matter of fact, I have realized that anytime I am suffering it's because I am investing belief in a low frequency story.
Tremendous relief came when I realized that I do not have to believe the thoughts that make up these stories. I have come to see that thoughts, much like germs, are rampant in the atmosphere. And like germs, whether or not you are “infected” depends upon the strength of your immune system. If your immunity is compromised then you are susceptible to the germs that abound. Similarly, if you are in a weakened state from years of believing low frequency stories then you are prone to be “infected” by the stressful thoughts that constantly run through the mind. “There are no new stressful thoughts” (a Byron Katie statement), which means that every stress producing thought we've ever had has been thought millions of times. Whether or not we BELIEVE these thoughts, however, is up to us! WOW… that was great news to me, because it meant that, although I could not choose my thoughts… they come and go… I COULD begin to choose whether or not to “marry them” by believing in them! Thoughts are not the problem, I realized, unless I believe them. That's because once I believe what I'm thinking I start REACTING as if they are true. For instance, when I believe the thought, “I am selfish and unable to truly care”, I start acting in ways that end up proving to me that it's true. When I believe the thought it generates low frequency feelings so that I feel bad and so then I start withdrawing etc, etc .. so that my behavior ends up totally verifying the thought! This is the way it works … not occasionally, but every single time!
Don't take my word for these ideas, I certainly didn't! Try them on for yourself! I have proven through my own life experience that this is the way of it.
I have further learned that God is only present in this moment. Here and NOW can be the only abiding place for Source simply because no other place exists! There is no other Reality … past and future are simply imaginary concepts that exist only in the mind. They are the domain of ego.
I have noticed that every time I am anywhere but in this moment it's simply because ego has abducted me, through some low frequency story, into the regrets of the past or the angst of the future, neither of which truly exist! The other place that ego likes to “keep” us is in that totally fabricated place I like to call “Shouldville”. Shouldville is where I am anytime I am resisting the way things are. “This, or that should not be” or “That should be different!” is a way of fighting with Reality. And, as Byron Katie says, “I have never fought with Reality and won!” A question that Byron Katie asks often is; “How do we know it's the way it should be? Because it's the way it is!” God and Reality are one and the same! Therefore anytime I am “shoulding” life, I am battling God.
Life is the way it is. If I want peace, I accept Reality. I don't mean settle for it! I can see the way something is and decide to be proactive towards change. That's not a problem. But what is this moment is what it is. My job is to accept what is this moment. Along with that awareness, that “what is” is just “what is” … comes the further opportunity to trust that the “what is” is as it is because that is exactly what it NEEDS to be! I do not have to understand why things are what they are and it's not my business to demand that things be different (like that works anyway!). And, well frankly, the way things are is not my business anyway. My only concern is my business. Anytime I am in God's (or anyone elses) business, I generate suffering.
One of the things I began practicing (again learned from Byron Katie) when I catch myself resisting Reality is to turn the should around by asking myself, “What are three real reasons why this thing should be exactly the way it is.” For example, let's say I'm telling myself that my husband shouldn't be so controlling … how can I turn that around? What are three real reasons why he “should be” controlling? Here's what I might come up with: He should be controlling because his attempts to control give me a chance to see my own controlling nature (based on the understanding that anything I'm resisting out there is a reflection of my own inner state). Another reason? Because there may be something I need to hear in his controlling words because its happening in my Reality (and I don't believe in accidents or mistakes, meaning there is not a single thing that happens that is not a teaching opportunity for me) and, one more? Because my resistance to him gives me a chance to better love and understand myself … again, because whatever I see out there is a reflection of my own inner state.
This brings me to a final peace-bringing realization worth mentioning, and that is that the Universe is always and only a mirror. We know that when we have something in our eye that we can go to a mirror and use it to see and address the problem. In the same way, the world faithfully and unfailingly mirrors to us our inner state of consciousness. What is mirrored to us by the world around us is whatever our internal beliefs are.
This truism is based on the Universal Law of Mentalism which states that everything in the world is made up of mental energy. This understanding was derived from the idea that the whole Universe and everything in it is all happening in the mind of Creator. What this means is that the world as we see it is totally a mental reflection of our own inner mind. We see what we believe.
A great example of that is something that I experienced recently. I was looking through some pictures that we had taken in Washington and saw one of me that my daughter, Jaquetta had taken. I immediately thought, “Yuk … this is a bad picture, I look old and unattractive, etc.” and quickly flicked on past it to the next one. Then I stopped myself, realized what I was doing — i.e. that I was running a story and forced myself to go back to that very picture and simply listen to what I was telling myself. After listening to the negative story I was detailing, I decided to experiment, just to see what would happen if I set that story aside for a moment and allow myself to look at the picture of myself without the old story. I was amazed! Without my demeaning story the picture looked totally different! Suddenly I saw a woman with happy, bright eyes and a relaxed bearing. I saw someone who was comfortable in her own skin, etc.
The point is that without our stories we can see a totally different world! Realizing this has brought me such tremendous relief. I have realized that the Universe is a friendly, benevolent place. What we see happening out there is simply a reflection of our own mind, and or that of the collective mind. When I react negatively to any single thing I see out there, I know I am projecting a piece of my own story and, using the world in the same way that I use a mirror, I begin to look for what in me is being brought to my awareness for the purpose of integration.
An example: I had a client recently come in inflamed about a magazine cover she had seen featuring a white supremist. She went on and on about how white supremists should be annihilated — should not be allowed to exist. She was almost rabid in rantings. Finally I quietly asked her to tell me about the supremist in herself. “Tell me about the part of you right now that wants to destroy others.” She got suddenly quiet … and then I saw that she got it. She realized that she was feeling the same sort of judgment and animosity towards the supremist that she was blaming him for having!
Our reactions are always about ourselves. The world faithfully mirrors where we are as individuals and as a collective. The way to change the world out there is to use whatever we find ourselves reacting to “out there” as the mirror it is to show us what in ourselves is presently attached to a low frequency story. I have yet to uncover a low frequency story in myself and find it to be true. Ego runs these low frequency stories which rob me of peace by generating the resistance ego needs to feed it and keep it strong in its definition of self and the world … “Peter Pumpkin Eater” translated, is “Ego, Story(resistance) Eater” who runs a limiting story in order to keep itself strong and in charge.
Again, these are simply some of the awarenesses that I've had that have brought new understanding and inner peace. I have stopped needing to resist or change the world around me as I once felt obligated to do. I hope they bring you relief and peace as well.
Love and Blessings,