I so empathize wth those who struggle with how to make peace with watching our loved ones struggle with Dementia or Alzheimers. There is no easy answer … although the route to peace is simple in terms of how to get there, it still requires a complete shift in the way we see our life situations to accomplish. There are some simple (not easy) consciousness tools we can use that provide us with a direction to head when we seek relief.
But only with this reminder: it is a practice. Acceptance of Reality requires that we be gentle with ourselves and don’t expect perfection or miracles. We must first deal with the part of our mind that believes it “should not be happening.” But it is happening! How do we make peace with THAT Reality, is the question. Of course we will struggle as we attempt to consciously intervene on painful patterns of thought in us that are as old as we are!
The Guiding Principles of Reality®️ first of all remind us that there are NO coincidences… no mistakes … We are vibrational beings that experience what we do on our life journey for a reason – even if we can’t figure out what that reason is. Reality says it is impossible to experience anything that is not a vibrational match for our own inner design and path. We believe thoughts that send out vibrations that call into our lives a fleshed out version of that belief. This is how the world mirrors to us what it is we believe for the purpose of observing our thoughts.
How does this apply to a situation of dementia or Alzheimer’s, we may ask … For me, these principles help me to understand that as much as I may think “they should not be experiencing this,” they still are. And so it must be a vibrational match for something their soul needs to experience. It MUST be that because they ARE experiencing that … and if I don’t need to make that “bad” or “wrong” or “sad” etc, I can even align to support them in seeing that possibility as well!
Our Soul Self has attracted to us the experiences and life challenges we encounter FOR our evolving nature. NO better way to learn something than through life experienee. Our illnesses, our conditions, and traumas we go through ALL offer learning value – if we are awake enough to SEE it even if how that can be is not obvious to us.
Remember we are eternal beings. We know this because we are energy in motion – and energy never dies … it simply changes form.
With that said, I can think of several possible ways to see dementia rather than only though the “its-a-problem” viewpoint. For instance, what if dementia is the only way your loved one can let go of some beliefs that needs to be released for purposes of forgiveness or to move forward to an “empty slate?”
What if it’s the only way they can allow themselves to quieten the mind enough to be in present time? What if they are in a process of learning to turn their focus inward in preparation for a coming life transition? What if their soul is learning to focus on inner time and space rather than being so caught up in outer concerns?
What would be different if you were to see that person’s illness as an initiation of sorts designed to help them to let go of worries they have not been able to release any other way. What if they are being given an opportunity to say things out loud or express emotions that they have held within to their own detriment and that don’t necessarily make sense to anyone else?
Perhaps they forget who they are or where they have been or who you are … and what if when those things happen, you were able to simply tell them that they are perhaps letting go of an old identity by forgetting … on their way into becoming a higher better expression of themselves? OR what if you simply bring their attention back to the present moment when they get agitated? Again, simply thinking about ways to support their “practice” of being in the here and now.
And what if part of your own awakening is in witnessing that loved one’s state of mental confusion? What are you learning from observing your process around their process? Perhaps they are in your life as your teacher right now. Your choice, and theirs, is to make peace with the Reality of our situation and look for the boons, the gifts and life learnings found there – or we can choose to collapse into sorrow and depression because Reality is what it is.
My mother began to have lapses in remembering before she died – she would get confused on who I was, for instance, “are you my daughter or am I yours?” she wondered out loud once. And I laughed and said, “Well I call YOU “mom” if that helps … “ and then we both got the giggles.
She maintained her sense of humor about losing her memory to the last – what a model of acceptance and grace she was for me!
May your loved one serve your Awakening in similar ways!
Remember, it’s a PRACTICE – not a place you arrive.