To find peace from the state of victim consciousness, we must do the following :
- We must come to trust that we are in an alliance with a Greater Intelligence that is benevolent and interested in our well-being.
- We must let go of our demand that life be the way we think it should be and accept the way it is.
- We must make peace with reality, not settle for it, but learn from it and aim for better.
- We must decide to trust that things happen for a reason and that that reason is for our ultimate good.
- We must consistently insist on finding the gift in every life situation, no matter how hard it is.
- We must take total responsibility for ourselves, and let others do the same.
- We must make our limiting beliefs conscious, and question them closely to reframe our wounded perception of the world.
- We must be absolutely committed to giving up our learned state of victim consciousness.
A client recently showed surprise when I told her that victim consciousness happens in the mind as a result of our own thoughts, and is not caused by external circumstances. Most of us have been raised to believe that victimhood is the result of what we go through. The reality however, is that victim consciousness is caused by what we tell ourselves and by what we believe about the things we go through, not the external conditions and situations themselves. It is possible to go through a horrific situation and not succumb to victim consciousness. We can be at peace even in the midst of hard circumstances. (Read Victor Frankl's book, “Man's Search For Meaning” as an example)
A powerful example of someone who by all rights could be called a victim, but who refused to succumb to victim consciousness, is Dr. Stephen Hawking. Dr. Hawking, a renowned physicist, has been said to have lived longer with a form of neuro-muscular dystrophy (similar to ALS) than most, and although he is mostly paralyzed, he continues to contribute to the world in major ways. He is considered to be one of the most highly-acclaimed scientists and foremost thinkers of our time.
Dr Hawking clearly does not operate in victim consciousness. He obviously does not see himself as being at the mercy of life, nor does he apparently think of himself as being helpless, pitiful, unnecessary or worthless. Even though he is restricted to a wheel chair, he continues to assume responsibility for himself and is a major contributor to our present day understanding of physics. He is a powerful demonstration of how to be at peace with reality.
Although we do not choose what happens to us, we can choose how we deal with it. What will you choose? Victim consciousness or peace?
PS. And if you want to read more about the hurdles and personal achievements of Stephen Hawking, you might enjoy an article by Anna Kurcirkova; “What Made Stephen Hawking Great?”