Empathy refers to the ability to relate to the feelings of another. Those of us who experience the thoughts and feelings of those around us are said to be “empathetic.” We are called “empaths.”
This ability to pick up on the feelings of others is something that we do automatically. We “catch” the thought/feeling “stream” of another and experience it in our own body/mind — often we don’t even know we are doing it. We just assume the thoughts and feelings are our own.
Thoughts and feelings are like allergens, or germs, in the air, they are not personal, but are all around us all the time. Byron Katie says there are no new or original stressful thoughts. I’ve found that to be true. Every stressful thought has been thought many, many times before. When we move into an environment of a particular “thought stream” those thoughts will move through our minds… when we take them on as our own (i.e. believe them) we experience the vibrational frequency of those thoughts through our emotions and will react accordingly. Our feelings and behavior are triggered by the thoughts we are thinking and believing in that moment. If we don’t like what we are feeling, the place to look is inside the mind to the thought behind that feeling. By questioning the thought, we can bring ourselves into a better feeling state. Try it for yourself and see.
I believe that this posts resonates so well with my current work place dilemma.being an accountant who handles credit facilities for some of the employees my attitude towards their ability to manage their finances has been negative and often troubling.I come from a background where my father had troubles managing his own finances and this affected us greatly.Now i experience people making the same mistakes and at first i tried advising but now i feel angry and detest them for their financial decisions..I therefore find myself reacting negatively to their needs based on my fears of my own past life.…For those i am close to i find myself wanting to get them out of their situations…help them and sorting them out.…
I feel that acquiring financial stability is a good thing,and i should encourage and work at helping others acquire that but without interfering with their lives.I do feel that i can inspire them to improve themselves without necessarily dictating how they should manage their finances and what credit they should or should not have.…
My boss/mentor has always been very strict and i must admit neutral when it comes to handling others.However for him he’s always acted based on what he felt was right and if he was opposed to a decision that was it…I have picked on this,and for most times agreed with him but the more i become aware of how my feelings are affected by my thoughts/belief about a certain situation the more i feel that for some situations listening and trying to meet others halfway provides an even better solution to problems.Questioning our feelings around a certain decision provides a different perspective that may be worth considering.…
Aptly put Lynne! Thanks for bringing this to our conscious awareness.
With Regards and Love
Rahul
Greetings, Rahul and Tracy,
Remember Tracy, that our reactions to others (as in judging clients for being financially irresponsible) reflect our own fears and/or judgments towards ourselves.
Judging ourselves for judging others does not stop us from being judgmental. What does help is to use our negative judgments of others to find and forgive the judgments against ourselves for the same kind of behavior that we have criticized them for. In this way, we can be more compassionate in our dealings with them AND towards ourselves.
Blessings, Lynne