Death and Birth, Inseparable

Watch­ing my son move through his part­ners last days in a strug­gle with ter­mi­nal ill­ness, fills my heart with love and deep appre­ci­a­tion.
Andrew is indeed an amaz­ing man! Although he is stretched thin with his care-giving and finan­cial respon­si­bil­i­ties, he han­dles it all with grace and courage, and with­out com­plaint. He exude s a beau­ti­ful matu­rity in his abil­ity to accept and han­dle the real­ity that is his today.

As his mother I could not be more proud of, nor feel more heart-broken for, my pre­cious son! But there are gifts too. Byron Katie says, “Every time some­one dies, we are spared.” And that means every­one involved is spared some­thing — pain, respon­si­bil­ity, some­thing real — tangible.

Death brings its own sorts of bless­ings. Its really sim­ple — this under­stand­ing of death, tho not easy. It amounts to this: death and birth are simul­ta­ne­ous real­i­ties. There can­not be one with­out the other. They co-exist side by side, mak­ing it impos­si­ble to expe­ri­ence one with­out the other being close on its heels. Death and birth are like door­ways that lead from one room into another. We ‘die’ to the room we leave behind as we “birth” into the next. Such is the way of all com­ings and goings, of all birthing and dying — such is the way of life.

Most of us are unhesi­tant in pro­claim­ing the won­ders of birth. But I am find­ing that even in the dying process there is grace and beauty — and yes, even cause for cel­e­bra­tion. Such an atti­tude towards death comes with accep­tance and sur­ren­der to a process that is as nat­ural as breathing.

I feel hon­ored to stand by my son and his loved one as they move through this sadly beau­ti­ful and sacred life pas­sage.

Bless­ings, Lynne