Staying Focused On Source

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photo credit: Eddi 07

I notice how the pres­ence of even one per­son can inter­rupt my focus on Source.

When I am alone, I can sur­ren­der fully to a Source of Energy that stretches, opens my heart and moves me. I prac­tice open­ing to that inspi­ra­tion, and allow­ing it to prompt and guide me. Noth­ing stands between me & Source dur­ing those soli­tary moments.

But as soon as another per­son enters the mix, my focus fal­ters. Sud­denly my atten­tion is divided. Source no longer has my full atten­tion, and the results are imme­di­ately appar­ent. I fal­ter and lose con­nec­tion. Sud­denly I ques­tion what, just a few min­utes before, felt absolutely right. I see myself through “their eyes,” and begin to doubt my motives and ideas. My words are stilted, my move­ments stiff and awk­ward. The effort­less flow of union with Source has disappeared.

My 85 year old friend, Jane, who I greatly admire and respect, describes such a loss of focus as hold­ing back from Source for fear of what oth­ers may think. She calls it “man-fear” (fear of man).

I relate. I, too “lose my way,” when­ever I give in to the irre­sistible urge to seek some­one else’s accep­tance or approval!

I have con­cluded that when we allow another’s opin­ion to deter­mine our choices, we are more than likely say­ing “no” to Source. We are side­tracked. When we dis­trust our own inner sense of what’s right for us and choose instead to do it “their” way, we give up our own authen­tic life expres­sion for a life “done right” by some­one else’s stan­dards. When we are being inter­nally nudged to go in a par­tic­u­lar direc­tion, but fol­low some­one else’s lead instead, we aban­don our­selves AND Source. Tremen­dous unhap­pi­ness and self-loathing results!

Learn­ing to sur­ren­der to what Source prompts, in and through us, sets us on track to live an authen­tic life. We attain that degree of sur­ren­der through a daily prac­tice. By com­mit­ting to spend time every day focused on Source, we may some­day be able to hold our gaze unwa­ver­ingly on Source, no mat­ter who else enters our space. It’s my great­est desire.