Is My Message Anti-Christian? (part two)

Creative Commons License photo credit: Ali­ce­Pop­korn

I con­tinue here my unfold­ing story of my own jour­ney to faith for your own judg­ment in answer to the ques­tion, Is my mes­sage anti-Christian? In part one, I describe the expe­ri­ence of grow­ing up in a home that was very polar­ized in their view of spir­i­tu­al­ity. Here I describe the effect of that polar­ity in my own life.

Regard­less of their wide, and sig­nif­i­cant, dif­fer­ences in reli­gious belief, it was evi­dent to me that both sides of my fam­ily loved God. Both of my par­ents prayed reg­u­larly, and talked openly about it. Both par­ents had a rela­tion­ship with Jesus Christ, how­ever var­ied their under­stand­ing of that rela­tion­ship was, which was NOT spo­ken openly about. In all grate­ful sin­cer­ity I can say that I learned from my par­ents a pro­found respect for, and deep heart­felt desire to do the will of the Father (or, “Mother/Father God,” as my mother called God). I learned tol­er­ance and open-mindedness from those early years as well, although those lessons came through ret­ro­spect later on. First I had to rebel from both per­spec­tives and set out on my own hap­haz­ard, will­ful, and often dan­ger­ous, path.

Being quite a rebel­lious young per­son, I turned my back on both par­ents and their way of think­ing. I decided that my father’s way was way too rigid, too “black and white,” too author­i­tar­ian. I could not relate to his either/or ulti­ma­tums, and on the other hand, my mother’s way seemed namby-pamby, woo-woo, and ungrounded in reality.

I pur­sued my own way, which included lots of exper­i­men­tal drug use (“seek­ing God by knock­ing at the wrong door,” as I’ve heard it described) and liv­ing on the edge. I turned to the prin­ci­ples taught in and through nature, and involved myself for a period of time as an appren­tice to a Native Amer­i­can Med­i­cine Man. I decided I wanted to live a sim­ple, con­scious, life. I believed that the less one had, the hap­pier and more in har­mony with life one could live. I aspired to live hap­pily with little.

And then in my late twen­ties, through my father’s inter­ven­tion, I found the twelve-step path, and so began my own recov­ery from addic­tion as well as what became a life-work in the field of fam­ily dys­func­tion, addic­tion, and co-dependency. Dur­ing those early years of recov­ery, I began the long slow process of rec­on­cil­ing the polar­ity between the two per­spec­tives pre­sented me through­out my childhood.

I was no longer pre­pared to throw either per­spec­tive away totally, and so I began to cull through and sep­a­rate out what fit for me from each of my parent’s per­spec­tive in search of the gifts and lessons offered me there.

Some­where along the way it occurred to me that our Cre­ator is like a mas­ter pot­ter, who cre­ates each “ves­sel” accord­ing to his own designs for that par­tic­u­lar ves­sel. Some ves­sels are made to hold water, a meal, or wine, while still oth­ers are designed to hold a fine per­fume or to keep a flame alive.

To me this is what is meant in Romans 8: 28 — 30, when Paul states, “For those God foreknew … pre­des­tined … called .. . ” etc. — To me, Paul is say­ing that we, like all good ideas, are first con­ceived in the mind, the Divine Mind; we were blue­printed in detail, and brought into form for a pur­pose. We are each and every one a life expres­sion of a Divine Thought, con­ceived in the Mind of our Cre­ator Source, and brought into being with our unique set of pro­cliv­i­ties and lean­ings, of tal­ents and skills, all out­lined in the Mind of our Cre­ator before we were born. Along with life, we are given a free-will, so we might choose whether to align with the Creator’s design for us or not, but what and how we are made to be, as well as where we are placed, our life cir­cum­stances and fam­ily, are all set in place for us by, and for, the pur­poses of Source. This is how it seems to me.

I have more to say about my com­ing home to Christ and how that hap­pened in my next blog. Hope you will stay tuned.



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