About Lynne’s Blog

Wel­come to my blog … you are wel­come to read along as I share sto­ries of life and con­scious­ness unfolding.

It seems appro­pri­ate that I would start today, Feb. 26th 2007 … since it is mine and Daniel’s 13th anniver­sary as a cou­ple. He is such a big part of my con­scious­ness jour­ney. I see rela­tion­ship as a sacred path designed to shape and evolve us, as indi­vid­u­als and life part­ners. Being in rela­tion­ship has been a pri­mary grow­ing medium for me; it accel­er­ates growth by bring­ing my “stuff” quickly to the sur­face. For me, noth­ing has inspired, rewarded or chal­lenged me more than liv­ing in inti­mate con­tact with another. It’s a beau­ti­ful path and I’m grate­ful to have Daniel to walk with me on it.

In rela­tion­ship, we inevitably end up step­ping on toes and/or feel­ing run over by the other. I’ve noticed that these are often the times that have moti­vated me to make changes I would not oth­er­wise have even con­sid­ered. Daniel has mir­rored aspects of my self to me that I might never have dis­cov­ered oth­er­wise. Cer­tainly relat­ing with Daniel brings rich gifts and deep learn­ing encoun­ters. I con­tinue to learn from such hap­pen­ings long after they’ve occurred… every­time I reflect upon one for the pur­pose of see­ing Real­ity, I gain a deeper Under­stand­ing of Life.

I find it helps to see hard­ship and chal­lenge as oppor­tu­ni­ties for increased con­scious­ness instead. Neg­a­tive think­ing cre­ates men­tal and emo­tional resis­tance that we expe­ri­ence as pain. But resis­tance or pain can play an impor­tant part in fos­ter­ing con­scious­ness too … because it points out my stuck pat­terns and shows up my dis­torted thoughts. These thoughts, which have become hard-core beliefs about self and the world, have been made valid through rep­e­ti­tion. That’s right … sim­ply repeat­ing the same insane thing to myself over and over for years got me believ­ing these self-told lies so thor­oughly that I still some­times act like they’re true! And what’s more, when I act as if these old sto­ries are real, the world imme­di­ately reflects the ways that prove to me that I’m right! — that what I believe IS true. It’s amaz­ing to watch this hap­pen over and again now that I’ve caught on to how it works.

This is a story about who “me” is and how the world is and who you are to me. It’s a story that I’m addicted to believ­ing, even as dis­torted and misery-making as it is. There are three ingre­di­ents involved in the make up of my “me” story (also called ego). First, ingre­di­ent is a long, con­sciously for­got­ten, but painful emo­tional imprint or “wound”. The sec­ond ingre­di­ent is the actual men­tal fab­ri­ca­tion (the story) that I made up as a child about the wound and what it means, and the third ingre­di­ent is the defenses that were cre­ated to pro­tect “me”. My ego runs me often. It’s pri­mary fuel is resistance.

And what is resis­tance? It’s any thought or reac­tion that cre­ates inner dishar­mony (resent­ment, guilt, judg­ment, anx­i­ety, even self-righteousness). The unhappy feel­ings are gen­er­ated when the old sto­ries are being men­tally run. Know­ing this has allowed me to start see­ing the inter­nal stress as a fin­ger point­ing to where I’m stuck in the old story. Rather than look­ing out­side of myself for a “fix”, I prac­tice fol­low­ing feel­ings of dis­com­fort in, turn­ing my atten­tion to the inner real­ity in order to find res­o­lu­tion. In other words, when I have a neg­a­tive reac­tion, I know it’s about me! Every time.

That may sound harsh, but I find that it really is good news. It makes me a causative fac­tor rather than a vic­tim of life cir­cum­stances. Besides, it’s won­der­ful to rec­og­nize that the world around me is sim­ply a big won­drous mir­ror, designed to per­fectly reflect to me, my inter­nal state.

You will find posted here ongo­ing expe­ri­ences in the process of self-awareness — a jour­ney in thought unfold­ing that may vary widely from entry to entry. What­ever is “up” for me when I sit down to blog might well find itself exposed in these pages. So thank you for vis­it­ing … take what fits and leave your thoughts and com­ments too … I wel­come them.

Bless­ings, Lynne